


hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss

by shinyeons



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dance, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Rivalry, ryujin: my day be so fine then boom chaeryeong, side yejisu, there's a lot of girlgroup members here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinyeons/pseuds/shinyeons
Summary: Chaeryeong is stuck-up, bratty and something else Ryujin doesn’t want to admit. In other words, Ryujin hates her — which is why she doesn’t understand why Chaeryeong is pulling her closer, or why they’re kissing instead of battling.orEverything starts with heartbroken best friends, convenience stores and chocolate milk. Then starts again with a competition, a studio, and a dance battle.
Relationships: Lee Chaeryeong/Shin Ryujin
Comments: 22
Kudos: 137





	hit me with your sweet love, steal me with a kiss

**Author's Note:**

> (title from bubblegum bitch by marina)
> 
> hello everyone! after writing thousands and thousands of unfinished wips i’m finally back with a new fic! :’)
> 
> i started writing this fic a month ago and trust me, it wasn’t supposed to be this long, but here we are: 20k of enemies to lovers ryuryeong because 1. i love them and 2. i’m unhinged
> 
> ps: sojung and eunbi here are wjsn’s exy and izone’s eunbi. just thought i would let you guys know since we have sojung/eunbi in gfriend too!
> 
> special thanks to my dear friend [hyejoos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyejoos) for making the tweet that inspired this story! this fic wouldn’t have existed without you <3
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4bGEHQTm36ePJ2g9N7FpXb?si=C1BTJr0wSaWXnvY3Hz6k3w)

“We’re done for today! Good job, everyone!”

Ryujin collapses as soon as Yeji turns the speakers off, feeling all sorts of gross and sticky, desperate to scare away the heat threatening to melt her skin into a puddle of sweat — even if that means ungraciously throwing herself over the cold floor, in front of at least another ten people. 

But _hey_ , it’s not like they’ll judge her. Now, laugh at her worn out state and take a few shots to share on their snapchats? Maybe. (“Delete that shit right now, Kim Jimin. I have a reputation to keep— what do you mean you’ve already sent it to everyone? You little brat—“) They’re all friends here, after all; have been, for two entire semesters now.

Ryujin scans the room and finds Yeji and Yeoreum by the door, patting everyone on their backs and offering them encouraging words as they leave, probably rushing to the nearest bathroom to get rid of the nasty sweat covering their bodies after hours of practice. Ryujin knows she should be there too, as the _sub captain_ of the team and all that, but she can’t move. The captain and the lead captain won’t die if she doesn’t stand by their side and say a _great job!_ to the rest of the team today.

Yeoreum sits next to Ryujin on the floor once everyone is out, and Yeji follows suit. The latter can’t help but to wince as her eyes travel from the blonde mess sitting on top of Ryujin’s head to her bruised knees. “Damn, you look like shit, Ryujin.”

Ryujin scoffs. “I can say the same about you, miss tomato forehead.”

Yeji rests a hand over her forehead and pouts. “It wasn’t my fault! Heejin ran over me like a truck!”

“It was your fault, though,” Yeoreum chimes in, eyes immersed in the screen of her phone as she types a text. “You’re the one that went to the wrong side.”

“It’s okay, Jisu can take care of it,” Ryujin wiggles her eyebrows and nudges Yeji’s leg with her elbow, giggling when her best friend’s face flushes a bright red. “Look, now your entire face is a tomato. How adorable.”

“Shut up,” Yeji rolls her eyes and slaps Ryujin’s sore thigh. Ryujin bites on her fist to fight back a pained groan. She guesses she deserved that.

“I wish I could stay for… whatever this is,” Yeoreum gestures vaguely in their direction, pushing herself into a standing position right after, “But I have an important thing with Yeonjung now.”

“Important thing,” Ryujin deadpans, “Is that what kids call sucking face these days?”

Yeoreum throws her backpack over her shoulders, offers Ryujin a sweet ( _life threatening_ ) smile and says, “Do you want another bruise on that pretty leg of yours, Ryujinie?”

Ryujin’s smug expression morphs into one of an innocent angel in the blink of an eye. “No, ma’am. Have fun with your lovely girlfriend.”

“I will,” the sinister smile is still there, and maybe, just maybe, Ryujin’s blood runs cold, “Text me if you guys need anything.”

And with that, Yeoreum is out the door, leaving Ryujin and Yeji behind. Ryujin sighs, counts _one, two, three—_

“I’m worried about you, Ryujin.”

_There it is._

Ryujin massages her temples with the tip of her fingers, “I told you a million times, Yeji. You don’t have to worry about me, it’s fine. I _am_ fine.”

“No, you’re not,” Yeji lies beside her, shivers when the cold temperature hits her flaming skin, “When was the last time you had a proper night of sleep?”

“Dunno,” Ryujin murmurs, then she shrugs, “But it’s fine—”

“Ryujin—“

“We’re _all_ working our asses off for this, including you,” Ryujin abruptly cuts the girl, “This is my first time being the center and this is a huge competition, an opportunity I can't risk to ruin.” 

“But Ryujin—“

“I have to be _perfect_ , Yeji,” Ryujin sighs exasperatedly, drags a hand through her face, “I can’t afford to be anything less than that right now. Not only for myself, but for the whole team.”

Yeji’s mouth opens and closes a thousand times before she lets out a tired exhale, “Fine. I get it. But please, _please_ take care of yourself a bit, okay? I don’t want you to get hurt,” she pauses, stares at Ryujin’s knees and takes a deep breath, “Even more, I mean.”

“Okay, _captain_ ,” Ryujin teases in an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere. Yeji laughs, and Ryujin takes it as a win. “Make sure to take care of that lump in the middle of your forehead, too.”

“Mhm,” Yeji gets up, stretching her limbs before she grabs the forgotten backpack at the corner of the room, “I’d stay for a while but I gotta go. I have some important stuff with Jisu too, you know.”

Ryujin chuckles at the reference. “I know. Tell her I said hi.”

“Will do,” Yeji smiles as she walks towards the door, turning around to catch a glimpse of her best friend once she grabs the knob, “Go to the dorms, okay? You’ve practiced enough for today.”

Ryujin nods, lips curling up. “Alright.”

Yeji flashes Ryujin one last worried look before she closes the door behind her, leaving Ryujin alone with the mirrors, the speakers and her thoughts.

Ryujin sits, groaning loudly when pain crashes through her throbbing back. “Yeah, maybe I should go home,” she sighs, collects her stuff, and leaves.

  
  


Ryujin gets home, takes a shower, slaps some patches where it hurts and throws herself on the bed. 

She turns the television on, goes to YouTube and presses play on a video titled _The Gay Subtext of High School Musical_ because why the hell not, and tries to relax.

Ryujin tries, she swears she does.

But she fails.

Around the four minute mark (“So this song called _I Don’t Dance_ begins when Ryan decides to make the very bold decision to hit on Chad, because— because you see, he sees something that we don’t,” the youtuber says, and Ryujin nods eagerly,) Ryujin stands in front of the mirror, practicing some of her most used facial expressions. 

_Frightening let’s get burning now_ replays in Ryujin’s head a thousand times as she struggles to grasp the specific feeling of power she needs to execute one of her center parts flawlessly. 

**ryujin**

what time are u getting home

**yeji**

oh

i’m staying @ jisu’s tonight !!

**ryujin**

woahhhh hwang yeji look at you

all grown and shit

**yeji**

stfu

why did u ask though

**ryujin**

nothing important

have fun!

**yeji**

…

ryujin sus

**ryujin**

go back to your gf lmao

Ryujin smirks, changes into a shirt that doesn’t have a hole on it, and disappears through the door without a second thought.

  
  
  


Ryujin holds the fiery expression on her face for five solid seconds before she allows her body to relax, resting her back against the white wall in an attempt to regain her breath. Despite the throbbing muscles, she feels at ease — she might’ve figured out the ideal way to manage the look on her face towards the end of the song. It’s no longer bland, but she doesn’t look like a disturbed psycho, either. 

It isn’t perfect yet, but it will be. It _has_ to be. Ryujin will make it flawless, eventually.

But right now all she needs is water. Urgently. Or she thinks she might die.

So she rushes to the cafeteria, buys a bottle of water, and slides into the table where two of her favorite seniors are sitting together, probably searching for some choreography inspiration with how intensely they’re watching some random dance video, too immersed to notice Ryujin’s presence.

“That looks cool,” Ryujin comments, and Eunbi nearly lets the phone slip from her hands.

“I could’ve died, you know?” Eunbi whines and glares at Ryujin. It’s like being threatened by a cute little rabbit.

“I’ve been sitting here for a solid minute,” Ryujin deadpans as she opens the bottle, “It’s not my fault you didn’t notice.”

“She has a point,” Sojung nods, then flashes Ryujin a wary look, “What are you doing here, though? It’s nearly eight, everyone from your team went home already, no?”

“They did, and I did too,” Ryujin pauses to drink the water and nearly cries from the pleasing sensation, “But I came back.”

Sojung tsks, “Yeoreumie was right, then. She said I would catch you around here later.”

Ryujin smiles sheepishly, “Am I that obvious?”

Both seniors nod without hesitation. Ryujin visibly deflates.

“By the way,” Sojung fishes for something in her bag, handing it to Ryujin once she finds it, “She told me to give you these.”

Ryujin grabs the plastic package, examines it suspiciously, and frowns. “And what is this, exactly? Poison?”

“Natural medicine for muscle pain, dumbass” Sojung lightly shoves Ryujin’s shoulder and giggles, “She asked me to give it to you because, in her own words, she’d rather die than show you any sort of affection.”

Ryujin rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile at the corner of her lips. “Tell her that I love her too.”

Eunbi, who was holding back a laugh during the entire exchange, chimes in, “How is practice going, _nation’s_ _center_?”

Ryujin scoffs at the nickname her friends gave her after she was voted as center, but is quick to answer, “It’s okay, I think. We’re fast learners, it’s just a matter of turning the details into masterpieces,” she shrugs, then stares at Eunbi with mischief shining in her eyes, “What about you, _nation’s choreographer_?”

“Stop,” Eunbi groans, then a laugh escapes through her lips, “It’s been good, really. I think we’re winning this thing.”

Ryujin sighs as her mind drifts away to the trophy room of their dance studio building, dreaming of seeing a golden prize with _Center Shin Ryujin_ engraved on it. She wants them to win so, so fucking bad — craves for the first place more than anything that could possibly exist in this vast world. “I hope so, unnie.”

The three of them gossip about the opponent teams for a while (“The _Lions_ seem to be pretty strong this year.” “Yeah, but you _know_ who our biggest competition is this time.” “Ugh, don’t even mention it.”) before they go their separate ways — Sojung and Eunbi to the third floor to attend some night classes and Ryujin back to the practice room.

What Ryujin doesn’t expect, however, is to hear music blasting from the speakers when she gets to the door — it wasn’t _Hala Hala_ , it wasn’t _HIT_ , and most definitely wasn’t _Psycho_ — and the sound of shoes stomping against the floor like it’s trying to break it.

Ryujin pushes the door open and scoffs when she sees who’s there. _Of course_. 

The other girl jumps when she catches Ryujin’s reflection in the mirror, but it doesn’t take long for her to get her shit together and for a scowl to take over her features. “What are you doing here?”

Ryujin scoffs again. “I should be the one asking you that,” she points to the bag on the floor, “I was here first.”

“Well,” the girl crosses her arms against her chest, arching an eyebrow in defiance, “You and your team were supposed to practice here in the afternoon. Night is _my_ time, not yours.”

Ryujin wants to commit murder. But instead she takes a deep breath, takes a few steps, and stops in front of Lee Chaeryeong, the soloist from _Manta Studio_ and possibly the biggest pain in her ass.

  
  
  


The war between them was established during a specific night where Yeji was feeling like shit after getting into a fight with her crush and Ryujin, being the amazing best friend that she is, rushed to the nearest convenience store at midnight to grab all sorts of candies, drinks and of course, Yeji’s favorite chocolate milk.

That damn chocolate milk.

A cold hand collapsed against hers the second she grabbed the last chocolate milk left in the freezer. Ryujin looked up, slightly annoyed at the disturbance, and was greeted by the view of a flushed girl who seemed to be around her age, looking like she just ran a marathon.

“You need to give me that,” the girl’s eyes flickered from the box to Ryujin’s face, and she sounded desperate as she said, “It’s an emergency.”

Ryujin remembered Yeji’s puffy eyes and the tears that came out of them and her grip on the box became firmer. “I have an emergency, too.”

The girl took a deep breath, glared at Ryujin, and hissed, “Give it to me.”

Ryujin scoffed, making sure to return the glare at the same intensity. _Who does that girl think she is?_ “No, I don’t think I will.”

The stranger clenched her jaw. “ _Now_.”

“No—“

The box exploded before Ryujin could come up with another snarky remark. The two of them stood there, staring at each other with bewildered expressions as chocolate dripped from their hands.

But the best part of the _chocolate hurricane_ experience happened a week later, when Yeji and her crush got their shit together and started dating.

Jisu was quick to connect the dots when Ryujin told her the story, gasping dramatically before she blurted out, “ _Oh my God_ , you’re convenience store girl!”

Ryujin blinked. “What?”

“The girl you’re talking about— she’s my best friend, Lee Chaeryeong!”

A nervous chuckle came out of Ryujin’s mouth, “No, it can’t be.”

Then Jisu grabbed her phone, showed her a picture of her and _insufferable girl_ pressing their cheeks together, and all Ryujin wanted to do was to throw herself out of the nearest window.

  
  
  


“What is it, Lee Chaeryeong,” Ryujin tilts her head and crosses her arms under her chest, “Afraid that I’ll make fun of the weak little dance you came up with for the competition?”

Chaeryeong tsks, breaks the intense eye contact for a second to roll her eyes, then throws Ryujin a sharp gaze, “Afraid that you might try to steal it for your dumb team after you see how amazing it is.”

Ryujin doesn’t even try to hold back the laughter that flows out of her mouth once she registers Chaeryeong’s words, both arms holding her stomach as she struggles to regain her breath, “ _You—_ You’re so ridiculous, oh my God.”

Chaeryeong’s stoic expression doesn’t falter. “Are you done?” She deadpans, motions to the door, “I would like to go back to practice.”

“I would like to do that, too,” Ryujin puts on a sly grin, “But you’re making it difficult for me.”

Chaeryeong clenches her jaw. “Leave, Ryujin.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Ryujin says, not only because she enjoys seeing Chaeryeong fuming to the point where her neck becomes red, but also because she needs to practice. _Badly_. She’s not going to give up so easily — at least not without a fight.

Chaeryeong closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and pinches the bridge of her nose. She seems to be considering her options. Or plotting the perfect murder. Ryujin can’t tell what’s on Chaeryeong’s mind most of the time. “Let’s make it fair, then.”

Ryujin frowns, places her hands on her waist and raises one eyebrow. “How?”

Chaeryeong smirks, “Dance battle. The best one gets the studio for tonight.”

Ryujin is taken aback for a second. A dance battle? With Lee Chaeryeong, the girl she loathes, of all people? That’s unexpected, for sure. But Ryujin is not one to back away from a challenge, especially when it involves the one thing she exceeds at, so she returns the smirk and says, “Bring it on, Lee.”

Chaeryeong turns around, smirk still glued on her face, and walks towards the speakers. She unlocks her phone, scrolls through a few _Spotify_ playlists until she finds something that pleases her and presses play, leaving the device over her backpack before she stands in front of Ryujin again.

It’s quite terrifying, really, how easily Chaeryeong’s dull gaze melts into a fiery one as soon as the first beat drops. But what sends chills down Ryujin’s spine is the way the girl refuses to stop digging holes into her soul as she slides across the room, challenging Ryujin to follow her moves, to prove that she is worthy. 

So Ryujin gives in, does what she does best.

Ryujin can’t help the smug grin that starts creeping its way into her lips when Chaeryeong flushes and stares at the ground after she kicks the air and finishes the move with a perfect split. She’s about to tease the girl when the beat changes and Chaeryeong does a flip, then another one, and falls flawlessly into one knee. _Holy shit_ , Ryujin allows herself to muse for a second, then _Beyoncé’s_ voice explodes through the speakers again and she remembers it’s her turn to show what she’s got. 

Chaeryeong wants to go for the hard stuff, huh? Ryujin will give her hard, then.

A backflip, an arm swing, a footwork that will leave her limping when she goes back to the dorms later — Ryujin does it all. Chaeryeong does it too, with a graciousness that Ryujin envies. Not that she would ever admit that to the _devil's child_ herself, no. She would rather cut her own tongue out than give Lee Chaeryeong any sort of compliment.

Which is funny, because when the beat is about to change again and Ryujin pushes herself off of the floor — without the use of her hands, one of the techniques she used to struggle the most with — and finds herself face to face with a sweaty Chaeryeong, she malfunctions for a second. Then for another one when she catches Chaeryeong staring at her lips and licking her own while she’s at it. And once more when—

“Ryujin, I was wondering if—“ Eunbi’s words die on her tongue once she realizes Ryujin is not alone, blushing hard when she sees how close the two girls are, “ _Oh_ , hi, Chaeryeong! I didn’t know you were here too!”

And just like that the _moment_ between them — can Ryujin even consider that a _moment_ ? Did that _actually_ happen? — is over.

Ryujin isn’t even sure when Chaeryeong goes from being mere inches away from her face to collecting her stuff at the other side of the room, throwing Eunbi a hurried _hi, unnie, I was just about to leave, see you tomorrow_ before she’s out the door, leaving a stunned Ryujin behind. 

It doesn’t take too long for Sojung to appear at the door, because _of course she would, her and Eunbi are attached by the hip,_ and she frowns as she watches Chaeryeong stumble her way out of the practice room. 

“Uh, is anyone going to explain what’s going on, or?”

Ryujin opens her mouth to declare that _no need to worry,_ _absolutely nothing happened_ but Eunbi beats her to it. “Ryujin and Chaeryeong,” Eunbi deadpans, blinks, “Were so close to each other. Like, they looked two seconds away from kissing—“

“ _No_!” Ryujin cuts her, mentally cursing herself for how flustered she sounds and looks, “You got it all wrong! We were— we were just— fighting. Yeah, fighting.”

The duo doesn’t look convinced, but chooses to let the topic die with a shrug. Ryujin releases a breath she had no idea she was holding in the first place. 

Eunbi snaps her fingers when she remembers the reason why she came looking for Ryujin in the first place. “Oh, right. Do you want to have some ice cream with us?”

Ryujin is exhausted. The adrenaline is slowly leaving her body and it’s starting to become painfully obvious to herself that, maybe, she pushed herself a little too hard with this whole dance battle thing. _Fucking Lee Chaeryeong and her stupid ideas_. But at the same time she desperately needs a distraction to forget… whatever it was that had happened between the two of them before Chaeryeong flew out of the room, and there’s also the fact that she can’t say no to free ice cream. Or to anything that Eunbi asks her with that adorable voice, really.

“Yeah, ice cream sounds good,” Ryujin offers the woman a smile, “Wait for me outside? I’ll just take a quick shower.”

“Sure!” Eunbi intertwines her arm with Sojung’s, turning to Ryujin one last time before she closes the door, “Don’t take too long, okay?”

Ryujin nods, and then she’s alone. 

She stares at her worn out reflection in the mirror, remembers the way Chaeryeong licked her lips, thinks: _fuck my life, fuck this world, fuck Lee Chaeryeong_ , and screams into her hands.

  
  
  


**ryujin**

thanks for the medicine you big sap

**yeoreum**

mhm

why are u up at 2am tho

**ryujin**

nothing

**yeoreum**

shin ryujin

**ryujin**

it’s nothingggg :<

**yeoreum**

alright… if you say so

  
  
  


After tossing and turning on the bed for God knows how long, Ryujin gets up to make herself a cup of hot tea. She squints her eyes as she stares at the clock on the wall and realizes it’s four in the morning.

She wants to scream her lungs out. But she doesn’t want to be kicked out of the dorms, so she bites her tongue, holds all of her frustrations and questions back.

Where is her favorite _Kuromi_ mug, anyway? She clearly told Yeji not to touch it. Yeji wouldn’t be crazy enough to touch it, right?

  
  
  


Ryujin is sprawled on the floor after practice, giggling to herself as she records Sooyoung running around the room with an overjoyed Heejin on her back while Jungeun chases after the two, begging for them to stop because _Sooyoung is old, she can crack a bone and we can’t win the competition without her_. Ryujin is about to jump into the teasing when her phone vibrates with a new message from an unknown number. She frowns, pauses the video and clicks on the notification. 

**unknown**

ryujin?

**ryujin**

… who are you

**unknown**

chaeryeong.

Ryujin nearly lets her phone drop on her face.

**ryujin**

HOW TF DO YOU HAVE MY NUMBER

**unknown**

i got it from jisu.

**ryujin**

and for WHAT

**unknown**

meet me at building f room 5 today at 6pm.

Ryujin scoffs. _The audacity_.

**ryujin**

why would i do that

**unknown**

i don’t know if you realized, but...

we don’t have a winner yet.

Ryujin pushes herself up into a sitting position so fast that her head starts spinning. Or is it because she thought about the way Chaeryeong blatantly stared at her lips the day before? Ryujin has no idea, to be honest.

So much for trying to forget about their _little moment_ by practicing like a mad woman, huh?

**ryujin**

um

what about… no

**unknown**

i’ll take the studio at night, then.

**ryujin**

no you won’t

**unknown**

i will, since you’re being a pussy.

Ryujin snorts as she reads the message over and over again. Did Lee Chaeryeong just call her a pussy? 

**unknown**

afraid to lose, ryujin?

That’s the final straw. _Fuck it_ , Ryujin thinks, and starts typing furiously.

**ryujin**

6pm right?

i’ll be there

let’s see if you’ll still act all high and mighty when i end you

**unknown**

i’ll be waiting. don’t be late.

Ryujin is too busy digging holes at the screen of her phone to notice Yeji is now sitting next to her, wearing the signature _worried best friend_ look on her face. Ryujin startles when Yeji’s hand touches her exposed shoulder, hiding her phone under her leg before she turns to the other girl and nudges her arm, “Hey. How was it with Jisu?”

The worry vanishes from Yeji’s face when she hears her girlfriend’s name. _Cute_ . “It was great. _She’s_ so great. Sometimes I can’t believe she’s mine.”

“Gross,” Ryujin fake gags, but the fond smile on her face betrays her.

There’s a comfortable silence between them after the brief exchange of words, both distracted by the view of Yuna running for her life while Gahyeon promises she’s going to become an assassin once she catches her. 

Until Yeji touches her shoulder again, and _the look_ returns to her face. _Oh no_.

Yeji tilts her head to the side. “Are you okay?”

That’s the thing about the two of them. Call it _soulmate energy_ or whatever, but they always know when something is up with the other without having to say a thing. Thankfully, Ryujin knows Yeji like the back of her hand — it’s impossible not to, after fifteen years of friendship and everything — so she knows exactly how to escape from a conversation when she doesn’t feel like talking about her silly feelings and thoughts.

Even more now that her silly feelings and thoughts revolve around Lee Chaeryeong. How embarrassing would that be? Ryujin doesn’t have the energy to go through that.

“To be honest, I’m not,” Ryujin announces and throws Yeji the coldest glare she can manage, “Do you know what happened to my Kuromi mug?”

Yeji goes pale. _Of fucking course_. The culprit _had_ to be her empty-headed best friend.

“I’m sorry, it’s just—“ Yeji struggles to find the right words, gesturing desperately with her hands, “It was there, I wanted some milk, and it was just _so_ cute. But I heard a loud sound and I let it slip from my hands.”

Ryujin rolls her eyes. “I told you not to touch it, didn’t I?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I—“ Yeji shuts her mouth, thinks for a second, then snaps her fingers, “I’ll buy you a new one!”

“You better,” Ryujin states as she gets up, running a hand through her hair in an attempt to fix it, then she claps to catch the attention of the rest of the team and stands in front of the mirror, “Break is over, ladies. Time to break some bones!”

  
  
  


After two hours of practice, pushing herself to her limit and making fun of Yeoreum after she says she has a date with Yeonjung again (“Jesus, Yeoreum. You’re so whipped for this girl.” “Shut the fuck up, Shin Ryujin. I know stuff about you that you don’t want the others to know.”), Ryujin finds herself in the bathroom, fresh out of the shower, staring at her phone like she wants it to explode. 

Maybe she does, because that would be a good excuse to not show up. _Hey, Chaeryeong, I didn’t come because my phone exploded._ She can’t call Ryujin a pussy for that.

But her phone remains the same, so Ryujin sighs, throws herself on the bed and groans against her pillow. She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into, but she knows that she doesn’t like it. 

So Ryujin decides that she is going to win this battle, no matter what. She’s going to give her all — her blood, sweat and tears. Who cares if she dislocates a joint? At least she won’t have to see Chaeryeong’s stupid face for a long, long time.

Suddenly Ryujin feels like a train of motivation ran over her, so she gets up, checks herself in the mirror — she looks good, great — and leaves without looking back.

Just you wait, Lee Chaeryeong.

  
  
  


The room is completely dark when Ryujin arrives.

Ryujin grins. This means she got here before Chaeryeong, which is great, because that means she’ll have some time to stretch in peace before the girl bursts through the door and drives her insane. She pats the wall, struggling for a second until she finds the switch, pressing the button and—

“F— Oh my God, Chaeryeong!”

—and Ryujin nearly dies on the spot.

“You’re early,” Chaeryeong speaks calmly, as if she hadn’t scared the living shit out of Ryujin, and pushes herself up, “Warm up and then we can start.”

Ryujin scoffs, her limbs still a bit shaky. “Are we not going to talk about how you were sitting at the corner like a ghost or something?”

“Afraid of me, Ryujin?” Chaeryeong says while she stretches one leg, her foot almost touching the back of her head. Ryujin stares for a second, gulps, and fixates her gaze somewhere else.

“N-no,” Ryujin squeezes her eyes shut and curses herself mentally at least a thousand times for stuttering in front of Chaeryeong, then continues, “I just thought I was alone. And who sits alone in a dark room in complete silence?” Ryujin rolls her eyes, whispers, “ _Weirdo_.”

“I heard that,” Chaeryeong throws Ryujin a piercing glare over her shoulder, “And the answer is obvious. Me. I do,” she deadpans, mutters something under her breath when she switches to the other leg that Ryujin doesn’t catch, “Plus, I had my earphones on. So I wasn’t in complete silence.”

“Look at her, she’s so smart and edgy,” Ryujin says in the most annoying, childish tone she can come up with while stretching her arms, “What else do you do? Chill at cemeteries at night?”

Without missing a beat, Chaeryeong blurts out, “That sounds like a you thing.”

Okay. Maybe her and Yeji used to go to cemeteries at night when they were teenagers to take some _goth_ pictures for tumblr. But it’s not like anyone needs to know about that — _teenidleryu_ and _theyeji1975_ have been brutally murdered and buried in 2015 and they want it to stay that way, thank you very much.

“Enough talking,” Ryujin cracks her fingers, then turns to Chaeryeong who’s looking too confident for someone that’s about to be crushed, “Let’s get it started, shall we?”

Chaeryeong nods, and Ryujin wants to wipe that snobby grin out of her face. She watches silently as the girl connects her phone to the speakers and picks a song, smiling to herself when the first notes of a hip hop song she’s familiar with fills the room, her thoughts becoming clouded with nothing but the urge she feels to teach Chaeryeong a lesson.

Ryujin applies the same techniques from the day before to her moves, but she moves faster now; sharper, stronger, almost viciously. Adrenaline pumps through her veins as she circles around Chaeryeong like a vampire that hasn’t tasted blood in years, feeling lightheaded when Chaeryeong abruptly pokes her shoulder with her index finger, causing her to lose balance for a second. 

Chaeryeong sees the opportunity to take over and grabs it, eyes darkening as her feet slide on the floor like it’s made of ice. She switches from delicate movements to strong ones with ease, owning that freestyle dance as if it was a choreography she’s been practicing for her entire life.

Ryujin clenches her jaw at the view in front of her. Chaeryeong is stuck-up, bratty and something else Ryujin doesn’t want to admit. In other words, Ryujin hates her.

Which is why Ryujin doesn’t understand why her body floats towards the girl, or why Chaeryeong grabs her by the arms and pulls her closer, or why they’re kissing instead of battling.

The worst thing about the fact that they’re kissing is that Ryujin likes it — _god_ , she likes it so much. It’s hard not to when Chaeryeong seems to know exactly what she’s doing, holding her waist with one hand while the other caresses her back under her shirt, sending goosebumps down her spine.

Chaeryeong tastes of caramel macchiato, lipgloss and strawberry cake. The thought makes Ryujin want to laugh because she expected the girl to taste of everything she hates the most in the world, but turns out it’s quite the opposite. She holds the urge back, though, because laughing means stopping and the last thing she wants right now is for Chaeryeong to stop whatever it is that she’s doing to her body and mind. 

But they’re humans and need air to survive, so they have to pull apart. 

Ryujin takes her time to take in the way Chaeryeong looks — forehead glistening with sweat, lips parted, eyes a shade darker. She looks so— she looks almost—

“I have to go.”

“Beauti— wait, _what_?”

Chaeryeong licks her lips, trying to contain a giggle. Ryujin’s eyes follow the movement and it makes her head feel a little funny. “I said I have to go.”

Ryujin’s soul hasn’t returned to her body yet, so the only thing she can do is blink. “O-Okay.”

Chaeryeong brings her thumb up to clean the smudged lip gloss at the corner of Ryujin’s mouth, throws her a smirk, fixes her hair in the mirror, and then the door shuts. 

Ryujin rests her back against the wall, drags a hand through her face, and lets her body slide dramatically to the floor.

  
  
  


Ryujin is still out of it when she gets to the dorms. 

She has no idea how she got home in one piece considering the amount of times she stumbled over tables and random students — Jungeun nearly jumped her in the middle of the cafeteria for bumping into her shoulder and making her drop her precious lemonade, but she realized Ryujin was on the verge of death and had some mercy — but now that she’s alone she’ll make sure to take a long shower and sleep until she forgets the way Chaeryeong’s hand felt against her skin and—

Ryujin fights the urge to scream out of frustration when she opens the door and finds Yeji and Jisu in the middle of a heated make out session. _Great, my day couldn’t get any better_ , Ryujin thinks as she throws her backpack on the floor, successfully startling the couple.

“O-Oh, hi, Ryujin,” Yeji laughs shakily, scratching the back of her neck, “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here, Hwang Yeji?” Ryujin scoffs, flicks Yeji’s forehead and fights back a giggle when the girl whines, “I live here, remember?” Ryujin rolls her eyes, then turns to the third person in the room and offers her a sweet smile, “Hi, Jisu.”

“Hi,” Jisu mumbles, not being able to meet Ryujin’s gaze. Her face is burning red. Ryujin thinks she’s adorable.

Then she remembers Jisu is Chaeryeong’s best friend, and the thought is enough to make her feel dizzy, so she excuses herself — even though she wanted to stay and make fun of Yeji for an entire hour — and locks herself in the bathroom. 

There, with water falling over her head and washing away the sweat on her skin, it’s when it starts to sink in. Chaeryeong kissed her, she kissed Chaeryeong back. And, of course, the worst part of this mess she got herself into: she _liked_ being kissed by Chaeryeong, enjoyed having her hands under her shirt and her finger at the corner of her lips. Which makes no sense, because as far as Ryujin knows, they hate each other. They’ve been on each other’s throats since day one, when they unfortunately got into that godforsaken convenience store at the same time.

So why the hell did Chaeryeong kiss her?

Ryujin considers the possibility of this being a stupid bet made by Chaeryeong’s stupid team. _She wouldn’t be that childish, would she? Of course she would, she’s Chaeryeong_. Then she considers the scenario where Chaeryeong kissed her simply because she wanted to, and that makes Ryujin freak out. If she wasn’t so afraid of being kicked out of the building for multiple noise complaints she would be screaming her lungs out right now.

There’s no way, right? Ryujin knows she’s attractive, it’s hard not to with all the love letters that were shoved into her locker back in high school, but Lee Chaeryeong out of all people being attracted to her? There’s no way that’s the case. 

Ryujin knows Chaeryeong would rather die than feel anything other than hatred towards her. She knows it because that’s the way she thinks, too.

Which goes against the way her body shivers while she’s drying her hair and her brain keeps reminding her of how good of a kisser Chaeryeong is.

Ryujin groans into the damp towel. “This is ridiculous.”

She reaches out for the clothes she left in the bathroom before she left earlier — for some reason she knew she wouldn’t be in her right mind once she returned, so she made sure to make everything easier for her —, puts them on and unlocks the door, frowning when she finds Yeji alone, no trace of Jisu left behind.

“She’s gone?” Ryujin asks as she jumps on her bed, sighing in contentment as her body melts over the soft sheets.

Yeji shrugs, not even looking up from her phone screen. “She was about to leave when you got here.”

Ryujin raises an accusing eyebrow, “Are you sure about that?”

Yeji grabs a pillow and throws it straight into Ryujin’s face. Ryujin doesn’t even think of fighting back because she’s exhausted and because she knows she totally deserved it. Sometimes she wonders how Yeji puts up with her shit on a daily basis without going insane.

“Anyway,” Yeji starts, “Jisu’s hosting a party this weekend and we’re going.”

“Do I have to?” Ryujin whines, “You know parties aren’t my thing.”

“Yes, you have to,” Yeji rolls her eyes, placing her phone on the nightstand before looking at Ryujin, “It will be nice, I promise,” she puts on her best pout, “It won’t hurt to have some fun, you know?”

Ryujin sighs. Yeji knows damn well she can’t resist her cute pout and never hesitates to use it to get anything she wants from her best friend. “Will our team be there?”

“All of them,” Yeji nods, smiling from ear to ear. 

“Fine,” Ryujin deadpans, then points at Yeji with a glare, “But I’m not staying for too long, understood?”

“Yes, captain,” Yeji has a triumphant smile on her face and Ryujin can only roll her eyes at the scene. Yeji is one year older than her but she can act like a five year old child when she wants to.

There’s silence between them after that, and Ryujin is already drifting into dreamland when her eyes flash open, a chill running down her spine as realization downs on her.

Chaeryeong will be at the party.

Ryujin chokes on her own saliva. Yeji runs to the freezer and returns with a cup of water, a concerned expression painting her face. Ryujin feels like she’s two seconds away from throwing up.

 _Fuck_.

  
  
  


The week before the party is pretty uneventful.

Ryujin practices until her bones are aching, stays in the studio for longer than she should (Yeji tries to get her to stop, but Ryujin is stubborn) and Yeoreum gives her endless packs of natural medicine through Sojung. 

The team is hyped for the weekend. The girls can’t stop talking about what they’re going to wear, what time they are leaving and whose houses they are going to crash at after all the fun ends. Ryujin hates to be a party pooper, she _really_ does, but she’s constantly reminding them that they’re a few weeks away from one of the most important competitions of their lives and that they shouldn’t do anything _too_ crazy. The last time the entire team went to one of Jisu’s parties together Sooyoung and Gahyeon tried to jump into the pool from the balcony and, _well_ , Ryujin is still traumatized, to say the least.

Then there’s the whole kissing Chaeryeong thing.

Ryujin is trying not to think about it. Chaeryeong doesn’t give a fuck about what happened, didn’t even bother to send her a text the whole week, so Ryujin does the same. 

The lack of interaction between the two of them makes Ryujin wonder if, maybe, kissing Chaeryeong was simply something that she had imagined. But the chill that creeps down her spine every time her mind mocks her with the image of Chaeryeong’s finger brushing the corner of her mouth reminds her that yes, everything was real.

And that Chaeryeong chose to act like it wasn’t.

Ryujin has no idea why the silence bothers her so much. She hates Chaeryeong — hates her in the same intensity that she hates hot summer days, which is a _lot_ —, hates when the girl and her stupid face and her shiny hair disturb her peace, hates it even when she breathes near her, so why the hell does Ryujin care?

She convinces herself that it’s because it’s rude to act like the person you kissed like your whole life depended on it doesn’t exist. Even when said person hates your guts, and you hate theirs in the same way, maybe even more. Yeah, that’s definitely it. Ryujin adds _impolite_ to the endless list of reasons why she hates Chaeryeong.

Ryujin tries to throw a crumpled paper ball into Chaeryeong’s _impolite head_ one day when they end up having a class together. Yeji grabs her wrist and flashes her a look that screams _do it and I’ll kill you_ , so Ryujin has no choice but to give up on her plan. She still spends the entire lecture huffing and puffing and wishing she could get up to give Chaeryeong a piece of her mind, though.

The class ends and Ryujin all but storms out of the room, ignoring Yeji’s protests and going straight into the studio, ready to dance her emotions away because she’s angry for something she knows she shouldn’t be and she wants it to stop before she loses her mind.

(Ryujin misses how Chaeryeong’s eyes follow her steps and how her face twists with something that looks a lot like worry.)

  
  
  


It’s midnight on a Saturday, and here Ryujin is — surrounded by a bunch of drunk college students when she could be in her bed watching YouTube videos with weird titles and even weirder thumbnails. On one hand there is a half empty cup with something Yeoreum got her from the bar — it tastes like strawberry, which Ryujin loves, but she isn’t a huge fan of alcohol so it takes a while for her to finish one cup — and in the other there’s her phone. She scrolls mindlessly through her instagram feed, presses like on a few posts — _Jesus, is that a picture of Yeji and Jisu kissing? Gross_ — and shoves the device back on her pocket.

Ryujin decides to observe what’s happening around her instead. Okay, beside her there is Yeoreum, pouting because Yeonjung got stuck in traffic and hasn’t arrived yet. At the other side of the room she can see a few of her seniors, Eunbi and Sojung included, laughing at some silly joke one of them said. She turns her head to the group of people near the bar and cringes when she sees Gahyeon trying to flirt with Kim Yoohyeon, one of Jisu's closest friends. _When will she stop?_ Ryujin thinks to herself, then she remembers that Gahyeon doesn’t stop until she gets exactly what she wants, so the answer is _never_.

Then she allows her eyes to wander around the sea of people dancing in the middle of the room, ready to point and laugh at an insane amount of smashed people trying to look cool and— 

_Oh no_.

Her eyes fall on Chaeryeong for the first time since she arrived. And the worst part is that Chaeryeong was already looking at her. 

Ryujin hates to admit it, but Chaeryeong looks good tonight. The girl is wearing high heels, her long hair is falling over her shoulders and she’s dressed in a sparkling black dress that probably costs more than both of Ryujin’s kidneys — Lee Chaeryeong is a sight for sore eyes with a carefree smile on her face and neon lights shining brighter than the stars outside against her skin. 

Then a smirk blooms at the corner of her red lips, and Ryujin realizes that she’s staring. Not simply staring, but _staring_ staring, in the same way you look at someone to let them know you want to get out of a crowded place and find somewhere quiet to be with them without having to say a word. Which Ryujin absolutely doesn’t want to.

Chaeryeong’s smirk grows. She excuses herself from her group of friends, disappears into the crowd, and soon enough Ryujin feels her phone vibrate inside of her pocket. 

**unknown**

meet me in the bathroom.

2nd floor.

don’t take too long.

Ryujin scoffs. She _doesn’t_ want this.

**ryujin**

what makes you think i want to be with you? lmao

**unknown**

don’t come, then.

Ryujin groans. _Fuck_ , maybe she wants this. And maybe she wants it a lot.

**ryujin**

…

i’m omw

Ryujin gives Yeoreum the half-assed excuse that she needs to go outside for a while and rushes to the second floor, thanking the heavens that most people are too busy dancing or making out with their partners to give a fuck about where’s she’s going or ask her why is her face so red.

Ryujin is starting to realize how much of a fool she is for this. She spent the whole week mad at Chaeryeong for not speaking to her, but the second she got a stupid text asking to meet at some bathroom in this gigantic house Jisu rented she immediately gave in to Chaeryeong’s request. What is she? A lovesick teenager?

 _You’re twenty now, Shin Ryujin. You shouldn’t give in so easily just because Chaeryeong is pretty and a good kisser_ , Ryujin tries to reprimand herself, but the second she opens the door and finds Chaeryeong reapplying bright red lipstick to her lips, her brain shuts down and she forgets how to behave like a normal human being for a second, because _holy shit_ —

“You actually came,” Chaeryeong’s voice snaps Ryujin out of her trance, “I thought you would chicken out.”

“I’m not the one that spent a whole week acting like a coward,” Ryujin shoots back without missing a beat. 

Chaeryeong rests her back against the sink and crosses her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t the only one.”

Ryujin gulps and looks away. That’s… _true_ , yes, but it’s not like Ryujin was about to admit that to Lee Chaeryeong of all people. So she rolls her eyes and decides to go straight to the point instead, “Why did you ask me to come here?”

Chaeryeong takes one step closer to Ryujin. Then another. Then one more. She’s now standing right in front of Ryujin, and Ryujin swears she tries not to, but she can’t stop staring at Chaeryeong’s lips as the girl places a finger under her chin and blurts out, “Isn’t it obvious?”

 _Fuck it_ , Ryujin thinks, and wraps her arms around Chaeryeong’s neck. She has to stand on her toes now because of Chaeryeong’s high heels, and she would be lying if she said that the height difference didn’t make her heart flutter, even if just a little.

Ryujin kisses Chaeryeong first this time. Then again, and again, and again.

  
  
  


Ryujin finds herself sitting beside Chaeryeong at a balcony minutes later. 

Turns out Jisu gave Chaeryeong a key to a special bedroom because, according to Chaeryeong herself, her battery dies quickly at parties. Ryujin finds it hard to believe someone like Chaeryeong could get tired in such a lively party — she expected the girl to go back downstairs and have fun for the rest of the night after they were done making out, but Ryujin decided not to say anything. It’s none of her business, after all. 

There’s little to no people in the garden they're now contemplating in silence. Which is perfect, because the last thing they want is for any of their friends to see the two of them together. That would be weird and embarrassing. So, _so_ damn embarrassing.

Ryujin was about to comment on how beautiful the moon looks tonight when Chaeryeong gets up from the chair and puts her elbows over the railing. Ryujin is not sure why but she follows her, keeping a safe distance between them. She’s afraid they’ll end up kissing again if they get too close — not that she doesn’t want it, because she does even though she hates to admit it, but because she’s not about to make out with Chaeryeong on a balcony. It’s one thing to kiss in a bathroom and it’s another to kiss underneath the stars. _That’s way too intimate, isn’t it?_

“You know,” Chaeryeong starts quietly, “This is the first party Jisu hosts ever since she got a girlfriend.”

Ryujin frowns, not sure what direction this conversation is going. Wait, are they really about to have a conversation? _Oh God_. “Yes?”

Chaeryeong sighs. “It’s so weird. I’m supposed to be sad, but I just… don’t?”

Ryujin’s frown deepens. “Why would you be sad?”

Chaeryeong turns to look at Ryujin, an unreadable expression taking over her face. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Ryujin raises an eyebrow. “Why would you tell _me_ out of all people a secret?”

“Because I know you won’t tell anyone.”

Ryujin scoffs, fighting the urge to roll her eyes to the back of her head. “And what makes you think I won’t?”

“Because if you do I’ll tell everyone we kissed,” Chaeryeong explains with an evil smirk on her lips, “And I know you don’t want that to happen.”

 _Shit_. “Alright,” Ryujin sighs, lifting her hands up in surrender, “Go ahead.”

Chaeryeong’s eyes go back to gazing at the colorful flowers underneath them. “I’m in love with Jisu— _was_ , actually,” Chaeryeong corrects herself with a bitter chuckle, “That’s the problem. Loving her was all I’ve ever known, now I feel so… empty? Lost?” She plays with her fingers for a while as she contemplates her next words, then decides to stare at the moon instead. “They say you’re defined by what you love. Who am I now that I don’t love Jisu anymore?”

Ryujin is speechless. She’s pretty sure she forgot how to breathe for a second or two during Chaeryeong’s monologue. 

Chaeryeong is— _was_ in love with her best friend’s girlfriend. At the same time it blows Ryujin’s mind, the revelation makes a lot of sense. Chaeryeong being in love with Jisu explains so much about her odd behavior that it makes Ryujin’s head spin like a wheel.

First, the convenience store incident. Ryujin was there to grab chocolate milk for her best friend, but Chaeryeong was there for the light of her days, the apple of her eyes, the _love of her life_ or something like that. Don’t get her wrong, Ryujin loves Yeji with all of her heart, but now she understands that things were harder for Chaeryeong on that fateful night. The girl she loved was crying for another girl, which means that Chaeryeong was absolutely heartbroken, but she still wanted to make Jisu feel better. 

The fire in Chaeryeong’s eyes, the firm grip on that silly box, the desperation in her tone — Ryujin thinks she understands it now.

Because that’s what love is, right? Making sure the person you love is happy even if you’re miserable. 

Second, Yeji would always whine to her about how scary Jisu’s best friend was and about how convinced she was that the girl hated her. Well, that explains a lot. Chaeryeong probably did hate Yeji at some point. The hatred seems to be in the past now — the two of them get along pretty well, much to Ryujin’s chagrin. She lost count of how many times she had screamed into her pillow in rage when Yeji would go out with Chaeryeong. Not that she would ever tell Yeji about that, though. Her best friend has every right to go out with whoever she wants. Fuck her and her pointless fights with Chaeryeong, she’ll deal with her pettiness by herself.

It’s only when Chaeryeong fakes a cough that Ryujin is shaken out of her thoughts, finally realizing that she hadn’t said anything after Chaeryeong poured out her feelings to her. _Uh oh_. She probably looks stupid right now.

“I’m pretty sure there’s other things you love,” Ryujin starts carefully as she studies Chaeryeong’s expression, “It’s impossible to love just _one_ thing in the world. Or someone.”

Chaeryeong ponders for a while, drumming her fingers against the railing. Then, after a few seconds of silence, her eyes light up and a small smile makes its way to her lips. “I love dancing.”

Ryujin allows herself to relax a little at the mention of her passion, smiling shyly as she says, “You and me both.”

Chaeryeong steals a glance at Ryujin, then quickly adverts her eyes to the ground. “Dancing is the only thing keeping me grounded right now, to be honest,” she pauses for a moment, “the only thing reminding me that I’m here, that I’m alive,” Chaeryeong laughs quietly, and it sounds so vulnerable that Ryujin wonders if she was even allowed to hear it, “I sound stupid, don’t I?”

“No!” Ryujin blurts out, feeling her cheeks heat up at how quickly — _and eagerly_ — she answered Chaeryeong’s question. She clears her throat and fixes her tone before continuing, “No, you don’t. I understand how it feels.”

Chaeryeong stares at Ryujin and frowns. “You do?”

“Why do you think I was so desperate to get you out of the studio the other day?” Ryujin scoffs, but her words aren’t coated in venom for once. “Dancing is my safe place, too.”

Chaeryeong keeps staring at her, but now she’s doing that thing that drives Ryujin insane — best known as the expression that makes it impossible for Ryujin to guess what she’s thinking. Ryujin’s skin tingles under Chaeryeong’s intense gaze. 

“That’s why you always stay behind after the team leaves, isn’t it?” Chaeryeong says, and Ryujin nearly chokes on her own saliva.

“How do you know?” Ryujin answers with another question, glaring at Chaeryeong as she speaks. Chaeryeong doesn’t flinch.

“We might not be from the same team but we still go to the same college, Ryujin,” Chaeryeong points out, “Plus, Yeji tells a lot about you to Jisu.”

“And Jisu tells you what Yeji tells her?” Ryujin deadpans.

“Well,” Chaeryeong shrugs, “Best friends tell each other everything.”

Ryujin raises an eyebrow. Chaeryeong frowns for a second, then realization washes over her. “I didn’t tell Jisu about _this_ , in case that’s what you’re wondering.”

Ryujin lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Good.”

Chaeryeong leans her back against the railing, tilts her head to the side and stares Ryujin up and down. “Are you that afraid of people knowing about _this_?”

Ryujin takes a step closer, eager to show Chaeryeong that she’s not affected by the way she’s blatantly checking her out. _She totally is_. “Aren’t you?”

Next thing Ryujin knows, she’s kissing Chaeryeong against the balcony door. From inside the room, of course. She might be weak for pretty girls but she’s _not_ stupid.

At least that’s what she keeps telling herself for the rest of the night when she has to sit around her friends and act like she wasn’t kissing Lee Chaeryeong upstairs. The amount of hate inside of her chest might’ve dropped slightly after getting to know more about Chaeryeong’s deeper feelings but she’s not stupid. She might’ve enjoyed how easily Chaeryeong’s fingers got lost in her hair but she’s not stupid. Her head feels funny each time she had to look up to stare at Chaeryeong’s eyes because of the sudden height difference between them but she’s not stupid.

She’s not stupid. She’s not stupid. She’s not stupid.

“Tell me I’m not stupid, Yeonjungie,” Ryujin begs when Yeoreum disappears into the crowd to grab them something to drink.

“You kind of are.” Yeonjung deadpans.

Ryujin throws her head back and sighs. “I kind of am.”

  
  
  


Practice goes smoothly on Monday.

No one did something wild like jumping to the pool from the balcony, which is a relief. Gahyeon even got a date with her dream girl later, so the team’s resident _grumpy kid_ is in a great mood for a change. 

Ryujin couldn’t be more glad for the uplifting atmosphere throughout the practice, because she swears she might do something stupid like reuniting all of them in a circle and tell them about how Lee Chaeryeong isn’t exactly the cold hearted bitch she spent a whole year thinking she was if the room goes silent for too long.

As usual, Ryujin chose to stay behind to perfect some moves while the rest of the team went back to their dorms or flew to their next classes.

Ryujin had to give herself some credit and admit that she was doing pretty well — she no longer had problems controlling her facial expressions and it was obvious that her steps and turns were becoming sharper with every second she spent dancing inside of the studio. 

She was being a good center, so good that she could already hear the crowd cheering and feel the taste of victory on her tongue. 

That’s until she spinned around on her tiptoes a beat too fast, lost balance, and everything went to shit.

  
  
  


_No dancing for two weeks._

The doctor’s words haunt Ryujin the entire ride back to the dorms. 

She’s sitting on the backseat of Jisu’s car, staring out the window with a frown as the loudest song she could find on her phone blocks out the unbearable city sounds coming from outside. Yeji has this huge pout on her face while Jisu tries to remain calm about the situation, asking Ryujin if there’s anything she needs each time they stop at a red light.

“It could be worse,” Yeji tried to cheer her best friend up after the doctor threw the bomb on Ryujin’s lap, even if she looked two seconds away from bursting into tears herself, “It’s just two weeks. There’s four left until the competition. We can do this.”

Every time Ryujin thinks about the worried look on Yeji’s face when the girl broke into the nurse’s office she feels like crying her heart out. Yeji looked terrified, panicked even, and it made Ryujin realize how much of a shitty best friend she’s being lately. 

She thinks about all the times Yeji practically begged for her to not push herself too hard, to respect the limits of her body, to _stop staying behind to practice for so damn long every single day_. She didn’t listen, and now here she is — unable to dance for two whole weeks.

Serves her right for being a stubborn little shit. 

“Hey, I know that look,” Yeji pokes her cheeks as she settles on Ryujin’s bed. They’re going to have a _Daria_ marathon to cheer Ryujin up. Yeji’s idea. “You’re thinking too much, and I just _know_ you’re blaming yourself for what happened.”

Ryujin sighs, resting her head on Yeji’s shoulder as she presses play on the first episode. “Well, it _was_ my fault, wasn’t it? If I listened to what _literally everyone_ — especially _you_ were saying, my foot wouldn’t be like this now.”

“Yes, you’re stubborn as fuck,” Yeji agrees with a nod and Ryujin snorts, “But you never meant any harm— to the team or to yourself. You had the purest of intentions, Ryujin,” Yeji caresses Ryujin’s arm with the tip of her fingers, “and don’t go thinking that I don’t know you have a lot on your shoulders right now because I do. Being a center requires hard work and discipline, we know that, we do. You were just trying to be a good role model to everyone, to be able to guide us towards victory.” Yeji stops for a second to regain her breath, turning around to be able to stare at Ryujin’s face before she continues, “But for now, _please_ , just focus on getting better. Rest, you deserve it.”

Ryujin is full on sobbing by the end of Yeji’s monologue. She should’ve known better than to think this was going to be a simple, lighthearted conversation because of the way it started. If there’s someone in the world that knows how to burst the balloon filled with tears that she hides deep inside her chest is Hwang Yeji. She holds Ryujin until they stop falling from her eyes, though, so it’s okay.

They watch the entire second season of _Daria_ that night.

  
  
  


It’s been exactly three days since what Ryujin calls _The Tragic Night_ happened. Not that she’s counting down each second left until she can run back to the studio and practice with her friends or anything. She’s definitely not doing that. She’s not crazy.

She’s all by herself at the dorms now, because it’s ten o’clock in the morning and people with non-injured feet are studying. And by non-injured people she means Yeji, her one and only company in these days of _Netflix and Sorrow_ . Of course, a lot of her closest friends stopped by to check on her — _Heejin even brought her balloons and stuffed animals_ — but the only person she’s sure she’s going to see everyday is Yeji. Jisu is a close second, since the _lovebirds_ are attached by the hip with superglue or something. 

She’s in the middle of browsing through the _Top Picks For Ryujin_ section for a good show to watch when the doorbell rings, and she can’t help but to frown because who the hell could be disturbing her peace so early in the morning? Everyone knows Ryujin doesn’t like human interaction before 1:00 p.m. when she’s not at school, thank you very much.

But then she remembers Yuna said she would come over with some homemade cookies for her, and her heart softens at the thought of Yuna’s adorable sunshine smile, so Ryujin pushes herself up and limps until she gets to the door, making sure she looks presentable in the mirror before she unlocks it.

“Hi.”

Ryujin blinks once. Twice. Pinches herself to make sure this is real and not some hallucination. When the pain settles in and Ryujin realizes this is not a fever dream, she blurts out, “What are you doing here?”

Chaeryeong rolls her eyes, “I heard what happened to you, idiot.”

Ryujin grits her teeth and becomes stiff at the mention of _The Tragic Night_. “And? Did you come all the way here just to laugh at me?”

“No, you asshole,” Chaeryeong groans and pinches the bridge of her nose, “I brought you ice cream, and it’s going to melt if you don’t stop being a little shit and let me in.”

Ryujin stands in the doorway like an idiot, jaw mopping the floor as she tries to process Chaeryeong’s words. She manages to make some space for the girl to come in, watches attentively as Chaeryeong shoves the ice cream pot into the freezer, but her soul hasn’t returned to her body yet. 

Ryujin was so busy mourning over the two weeks of practice that were taken away from her that she forgot about Chaeryeong — about how they kissed multiple times against a cold glass door and about how they haven’t talked to each other since the party. And now Chaeryeong was there, at her dorm, making sure the ice cream she bought for her wouldn’t dissolve into a puddle of vanilla. 

There are butterflies tickling her stomach. None of this feels real.

Ryujin wants to ask Chaeryeong why. But then Chaeryeong takes a seat on the edge of her bed, and she looks pretty with band posters behind her back, so Ryujin decides she doesn’t want to know — at least not for now.

Ryujin settles back on her bed and clears her throat, “How did you find out?”

“Everyone kind of knows,” Chaeryeong says as she admires some of the pictures on Ryujin’s wall. Her eyes stop on a small one of a five year old Ryujin smiling brightly at the camera, lips curling up slightly before she stares at another. Ryujin watches the scene unfold before her while holding her breath. “But I heard it from Jisu first.”

“Of course you did,” Ryujin rolls her eyes, but a fond smile crawls its way to her lips. “She’s pretty worried about me, isn’t she?”

“Mhm,” Chaeryeong nods mindlessly. “She cares about you a lot.”

Ryujin bites her lips and looks down at her own hands. “I already told her I’m fine.”

“Are you really?”

Ryujin sighs. _No, I’m not._ “I could be better.” _And by better I mean dancing. I could be dancing if I didn’t slip and fall like an idiot_.

“I went through something similar a few years ago,” Chaeryeong starts, tapping her feet on the ground as she stares at the white ceiling, “I got into a car accident and broke my leg a week before a competition. It sucked to be out of the competition, of course, but the worst part of it all was that no one from my old team cared. Small town teenagers can be the worst sometimes,” Chaeryeong chuckles bitterly, and it reminds Ryujin of their conversation at the balcony. Her heart sinks at the memory. “If it wasn’t for Jisu and my sister I— I don’t even know what I would’ve done.”

“Chaeryeong—“

“I know you have a lot of friends and everything,” Chaeryeong cuts Ryujin and their eyes meet, “But I wanted you to know that I’m here for you. We can go back to wanting to murder each other later, but for now I would be happy to help you get through this, even if in secret.”

Ryujin finds it hard to breathe for a few seconds. She blinks multiple times to fight back the tears — she feels like she cried for an entire year these past few days and she’s _tired_ , but a stubborn one decides to slide through her flushed cheek against her will. Chaeryeong notices it, flashes her a sympathetic smile and wipes the tear away with her thumb. Ryujin finds herself leaning into the touch, because Chaeryeong’s finger feels soft against her skin and she _likes it_. It’s actually terrifying how much she does, or how fast the nasty feelings she cultivated inside of her chest for so long are blooming into something else — something pretty, gentle, like cherry blossoms in the beginning of spring.

It’s new and scary and Ryujin finds herself wanting more of whatever that is, so she shuts her brain off and frees herself to do what she wants to, what she’s been craving from the moment Chaeryeong stepped into the door and blended with the beige walls of her room like she always belonged there — Ryujin grabs Chaeryeong by the collar of her shirt and kisses her like she’s the oxygen she needs to stay alive. 

Before Ryujin knows Chaeryeong is sitting on her lap, nails traveling up and down Ryujin’s nape in a delicate motion that makes her feel lightheaded, and that’s when it hits Ryujin that, _God_ , they’re making out on her bed. At her dorm. Her and Chaeryeong. The thought makes Ryujin whine into the kiss and Chaeryeong notices it, pulling away with wide eyes and lips slightly parted — _fuck, she’s so beautiful_ —, blinking a few times before she asks, “Did I hurt you?”

 _Oh, right_. Ryujin is injured. It’s quite hard to remember about that detail when Lee Chaeryeong is sitting on your lap. “No, you didn’t,” Ryujin mumbles under her breath and wastes no time before she connects their lips again.

Chaeryeong’s hands settle on her back and Ryujin is reminded of their first kiss: sweaty, desperate, like they were trying to set each other on fire. But Chaeryeong isn’t coming for her blood this time — she’s aiming for her heart, spreading warmth all over her body with every careful touch she leaves over her skin. 

Ryujin feels safe, and she doesn’t want this moment to end. She doesn’t want Chaeryeong to get up, pack her things and leave like the other times they kissed. 

Ryujin wants… Ryujin wants Chaeryeong to stay. Isn’t that _oh so_ selfish?

Ryujin breaks the kiss, cringing internally because she knows how vulnerable this is going to sound, and finally lets the words that have been playing on her head slip from her lips, “Stay?”

Chaeryeong beams. Ryujin’s heart skips a beat. “I said I’m here for you, didn’t I?”

They kiss again.

  
  
  


They decide to have ice cream for lunch.

They sit side by side on Ryujin’s bed while watching _Reply 1997_ , a drama Chaeryeong is obsessed with. Ryujin learns that the obsession comes from the fact that the love of Chaeryeong’s life, aka Jeong Eunji, plays the main character. Ryujin thinks it’s adorable how excited Chaeryeong gets while rambling about her undying love for _Apink_ with her mouth full of strawberry ice cream, realizes she can get used to this— having Chaeryeong around, sharing a pot of ice cream, watching Netflix as if they’re old friends. 

As if their relationship had always been nothing short of delightful.

By the time they’re watching the third episode, Chaeryeong all but flies out of the bed while staring at her phone screen as if she had seen a ghost. Ryujin is about to ask what the hell is wrong when Chaeryeong shows her the message.

 _Uh oh_. Yeji and Jisu are on their way.

“Okay, uh,” Chaeryeong runs her fingers through her hair while anxiously scanning the room, “ _Fuck_ , where did I leave my bag— oh, there it is,” she throws the object over her shoulder and turns to Ryujin with a pained grin, “I have to go now.”

Ryujin nods even though there’s a pout forming on her lips. “Okay.”

Chaeryeong’s shoulders drop. “Hey,” she tugs a strand of Ryujin’s hair behind her ear, “I’ll come back another day.”

“Promise?”

“I’m here for you, remember?”

Ryujin smiles and gives her a nod, firmer this time. Chaeryeong seems satisfied, a smile of her own taking over her face. She pats Ryujin’s cheek, waves her goodbye, and leaves.

It’s silly, but right from the moment the door closes, Ryujin finds herself counting down the seconds to see her again.

  
  
  


“ _Reply 1997_?” Jisu tilts her head to the side. “I didn’t know this was your thing. Chaeryeong made me watch all the episodes.”

Ryujin knows she’s blushing like a tomato but tries to hide it with a shrug. “I decided to give it a chance. Is it good?”

“ _So_ good,” Jisu nods furiously, “It was annoying at first, not gonna lie, but now I’m so glad Chaeryeong forced me to sit down and finish it.”

Ryujin chuckles behind her fist as the main character and her best friend manage to go to a concert behind their parents' backs. 

She’s _so_ glad, too. For the company, the laughs, and unsaid things.

  
  
  


Ryujin’s friends come over on Friday.

Yuna is the first one to show up. She hands Ryujin a drawing of a cat holding up a flag that says _congratulations on surviving the worst week of your life._ It hasn’t been a week yet. Ryujin tells Yuna that’s the best gift she has ever received. 

Next comes Eunbi, Sojung, Jungeun and Sooyoung. They’re panting and struggling with the insane amount of bags — _shit, how many snacks did these girls bring?_ — they’re carrying in their arms. The door stays open and Ryujin can hear devilish laughter coming from the hallway. It doesn’t take her more than two seconds to realize the sinister sound is coming from Jimin’s and Gahyeon’s mouths.

Heejin bursts the door open with a giddy Jisu on her back. Yeonjung and Yeoreum watch the scene with bored looks on their faces. Jisu nearly stumbles over the snack table on her way into Yeji’s arms. It’s quite a scene.

It’s hilarious, really, to see everyone trying to fit into the small dorm. They sit in a circle in the space between Ryujin’s and Yeji’s bed and start updating each other on their daily lives. Laughter fills every corner of the room and Ryujin feels full— _almost_ , actually.

She wonders what it would be like, if Chaeryeong was here — to hear her laugh her heart out at her friends’ unbelievable stories, to feed her grapes, to lean her head on Chaeryeong’s shoulder as the night goes on. To act like the rest of the couples in the room.

**chaeryeong**

having fun?

A smile appears on Ryujin’s lips at the same time her chest tightens as she reads the message. 

**ryujin**

yeah!!

it’s hard not to with jisu’s jokes

_I wish you were here_ , Ryujin types, but don't send. 

**chaeryeong**

she’s the worst.

glad you’re having a good time, though. :)

_When are we seeing each other again? You didn’t forget the promise, right? Of course you didn’t. I’m sorry for being so silly. Just come over, please. I think I miss you. Damn, I really think I miss you, Chaeryeong. This is so weird. We were supposed to hate each other, right? When did everything change? I think I’m going crazy. Tell me, are you losing your mind, too?_

Backspace, backspace, backspace.

 _When did I become so needy_ , Ryujin asks herself while fighting back the urge to lock herself in the bathroom and spend the rest of the night screaming.

**ryujin**

i’ll secretly shove some snacks in jisu’s bag

you better eat them all

they’re DELICIOUS 

**chaeryeong**

yes, captain.

i’ll make sure to give you detailed feedback on these mysterious magical snacks. 

Ryujin giggles behind her fist at Chaeryeong’s antics. Yeji, who’s sitting across from Ryujin, raises a suspicious eyebrow. Ryujin smoothly opens her camera roll and shows her best friend the screenshot of a dumb tweet she saw last night. Yeji laughs so hard that the rest of the girls gather around Ryujin’s phone to read the tweet too.

It’s perfect. _Almost_ , actually. But Ryujin will take it, for now.

  
  
  


**chaeryeong**

I KNOW ITS 1AM BUT

THE SNACKS ARE SO GOOD

**ryujin**

is this your “detailed feedback?”

also holy shit!! you didn’t use a dot and wrote in all caps

character development

**chaeryeong**

._.

yes, yes it is.

**ryujin**

great

because SAME

_Is this what it feels like_ , Ryujin wonders as she stares at the screen under the covers, cheeks hurting from smiling too much, _to discover a small piece of heaven on earth?_

  
  
  


“You’re sure you’re going to be okay all by yourself?”

Ryujin rolls her eyes for the nth time that afternoon, but there’s fondness in her voice as she says, “I’ll be fine, Yeji. Go have fun with your girlfriend.”

“Alright.” Yeji pouts while she stands on the doorway. “Call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be back tomorrow morning.”

“Mhm,” Ryujin nods, “Take care.”

“You too,” Yeji smiles, and the door finally closes.

Ryujin immediately unlocks her phone.

**ryujin**

hurry yeji left!!!!

**chaeryeong**

alright! i’m on my way.

Ryujin opens _Netflix_ and clicks on _Reply 1997_. Episode eight. Perfect.

She distracts herself with a few funny videos until the doorbell rings. She bites her lips to not squeal in excitement before she leaves the bed, realizing her feet don't hurt as much as they did the first time Chaeryeong came. That makes Ryujin even more thrilled, if that’s possible.

“Hey,” Chaeryeong greets Ryujin with a huge smile, handing her a paper bag, “I got you pretzels and coffee.”

Ryujin’s knees buckle. “Oh, thanks,” she takes the bag like it’s a newborn baby, silently hoping Chaeryeong doesn’t notice how flushed she is.

Chaeryeong boops Ryujin’s nose and grins as she makes her way into the room. Ryujin is not sure how she’s still standing. She missed her.

“So,” Chaeryeong sits over the covers, and once again Ryujin feels her chest tingle at how perfectly Chaeryeong simply _fits_ , “You liked it?”

 _Your pretty face and pretty smile? I did_. “Yeah, I did,” Ryujin takes a sip of her coffee, “I didn’t expect to like it so much but…” she gestures vaguely at the television, “you know.”

Chaeryeong nods, smiling from ear to ear. It’s such a lovely sight. “That happens to everyone. Now get your ass here and let’s stop wasting time.”

“You say it like you haven’t watched this drama a thousand times,” Ryujin chuckles, carefully sitting on the bed. The last thing she wants is to drop coffee on her clean sheets. Or on Chaeryeong. That would be a disaster.

“I might’ve watched it a million times but I’ll never get tired of Eunji’s face,” Chaeryeong sighs dreamily, clutching her chest and everything, and this time Ryujin can’t help but to break into a fit of laughter.

Chaeryeong follows, and the world stops turning for a second when Ryujin realizes this is the first time she hears Chaeryeong’s laugh. She stops, stares, and listens. It’s so precious and the moment is so fragile. Ryujin doesn’t want it to end.

“Hello?” Chaeryeong frowns, waving her hand in front of Ryujin’s face, “Is there something on my face?”

“No, it’s nothing,” Ryujin giggles, resting her hand on top of Chaeryeong’s as she focuses on the screen. Or at least tries to. “Let’s watch it.”

  
  
  


Ryujin has an idea while they’re in the middle of the tenth episode. 

She tries to bite her tongue and keep it to herself until it’s over, but she finds herself grabbing a wood box under her bed — ignoring Chaeryeong’s protests — when there’s still twenty minutes of the episode left. Chaeryeong pouts and whines over the interruption for a few moments, but soon she’s taken over by curiosity and slowly traces her fingers over the golden lock.

“What’s this?”

Ryujin fidgets with her fingers. “You have told me so much about yourself, I think it’s time for me to reveal a bit of myself, too,” Ryujin looks up with expectant eyes, feeling a wave of bravery wash over her when Chaeryeong nods and offers an encouraging smile in return, “I’m not good with words, so…”

Ryujin opens the lock, biting hard on her lower lip as the familiar collection of polaroid pictures comes into vision. She watches attentively as Chaeryeong’s calm expression melts into surprised, stunned, and finally settles for something softer, fonder, starry eyes that send Ryujin’s heart into a frenzy.

Chaeryeong carefully takes a picture into her hands, making sure Ryujin can’t see which one she picked. But from the snort and the obnoxious laugh that followed, Ryujin already knows it’s an embarrassing one. There’s quite a lot of those in that box, so she has no idea what exactly Chaeryeong is laughing at — is it the green wig picture or the one from her seventeenth birthday where Yeji wrote _I’m a stupid bitch_ on her forehead with glitter?

“Didn’t know you were a fan of pink, Ryujin.” 

Oh, _that_ one.

“I’m _not_ ,” Ryujin sighs tiredly at the memory, “But my mom is. It was mother’s day and she forced the entire family to wear pink from head to toe.”

Chaeryeong chuckles, analyzing the picture for a while before she says, “You look good in pink, though. You should wear it more often.”

Ryujin hums as she pretends to ponder over the possibility, hoping Chaeryeong doesn’t notice how weak the unexpected compliment made her feel. “Maybe I will.”

Chaeryeong winks and continues to go through the rest of the pictures in the box. Ryujin sucks in a sharp breath. She swears she can hear a piece of her own brain shattering.

Chaeryeong remains silent as she browses, but her sparkly eyes and the way her lips curl up when she comes across a cute picture are enough to reassure Ryujin that this was a great idea. It’s so foreign to Ryujin, to be openly vulnerable and not feel ashamed of letting another person have access to small yet important pieces of her life.

Foreign, but freeing. If Ryujin decides to jump from the window, majestic wings will come to life and guide her to the farthest cloud. That sort of feeling.

“When did you take this one?”

Ryujin is pulled out of her thoughts when Chaeryeong hands her a picture. She blinks, taking the polaroid into her hands. It’s a bunch of clouds painting a dark night sky, the moon standing perfectly in the middle of them. Ryujin’s chest clenches at the memory. She remembers that day vividly.

Chaeryeong pats her knees. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. I just got curious because it’s really beautiful.”

“No, it’s fine,” Ryujin puts her hand over Chaeryeong’s, takes a deep breath, and begins, “I took this on my last day of high school. I was so relieved to be done with that bullshit, but then it hit me that absolutely _everything_ was about to change and I panicked.” Ryujin licks her lips and Chaeryeong gives her hand a light squeeze, “So I just… ran. The more I asked myself if I could really make a living out of dancing the more I ran. Before I knew I was at some part of the town I didn’t even know,” a wet chuckle slips out of her throat, “and the only thing I had with me was my camera. That’s how that pretty thing was born.”

“Wow,” Chaeryeong has that look on her face that Ryujin can’t decipher. She bites the inside of her cheek in anticipation. “I’m so glad.”

Ryujin tilts her head to the side. “That I took the picture?”

“That you didn’t give up,” Chaeryeong explains, face covered by a light shade of pink, “Dancing, I mean. You’re really good.”

“ _O-Oh_ ,” Ryujin manages to say even though another fraction of her brain turned into smoke. Chaeryeong has to stop with the surprise compliments before there’s nothing left inside of Ryujin’s head. 

“I mean it,” Chaeryeong caresses Ryujin’s arm before she wraps her own over Ryujin’s shoulders and pulls her close. Ryujin melts at the proximity. Chaeryeong is always warm. “You know that, right?”

Ryujin nods, smiling up at Chaeryeong. She twirls a strand of Chaeryeong’s hair around her finger. It’s so soft. “You’re really good, too.”

Chaeryeong smirks. “That means I won the dance battle, right?”

Ryujin scoffs, lightly shoving Chaeryeong’s shoulder. “No way. Once I’m healed I’m going to kick your ass.” 

Chaeryeong laughs wholeheartedly, head thrown back as the sound fills the room. Ryujin is so fond of the little noises Chaeryeong makes that it hurts. “I can’t wait for that, Ryujinie.”

  
  
  


It’s 9:59. Chaeryeong said she would leave at ten. Ryujin doesn’t want her to go.

“Stay the night.”

Ryujin clenches her fists and waits for the rejection.

“Okay.”

Gladly, it never comes.

  
  
  


It’s hard for Ryujin’s brain to stop referring to Chaeryeong as _impolite girl, devil’s child, the person she absolutely hates_ . But the more time they spend together, the more Chaeryeong stares at her with those child-like eyes that shine brighter than the stars in the sky, the more Ryujin wonders: was it ever _hate_ , to begin with?

She doesn’t think it was. 

Ryujin disliked Chaeryeong, would become stiff and grumpy every time they were in the same room, but isn’t _hate_ a word too strong to describe what she used to feel for her?

Or was the fact that Ryujin became extremely fond of Chaeryeong the past weeks enough to cloud any bad memories she once had of the girl?

Ryujin doesn’t know, and she doesn’t _need_ to know. The past is gone and what matters is here and now. 

Right now she likes Chaeryeong. Right now she wants to keep kissing Chaeryeong like she’s a butterfly about to fly away from her embrace.

“I’m bored,” Chaeryeong mumbles, head buried in the crook of Ryujin’s neck. It tickles, but Ryujin doesn’t dare to move.

She wants to make Chaeryeong stay. 

“What do you say about _Netflix_ marathon?” Ryujin offers. This is only a quick visit Chaeryeong managed to squeeze in between classes, but Ryujin can’t help but to ask. She feels Chaeryeong smiling against her neck. Her heart soars.

And she thinks she’s doing a good job at it.

  
  
  


Two weeks. It's been officially two weeks since Ryujin fell and hurt herself. Which means that—

"Any bad bitches here?" Ryujin announces as she poses dramatically at the doorway, causing the whole team to scream and run to engulf her into different kinds of tight hugs. 

Yuna nearly knocks Ryujin out with her strength and spends five whole minutes apologizing for it. Jungeun makes her sign a contract promising that she's going to take care of herself and is not going to spend endless hours of her day practicing alone. Gahyeon tells her she missed her _annoying perfectionist ass_ in the room. Ryujin is buzzing with happiness.

“We’ll take it slow this week.” Yeji tells the team as she positions herself in front of the mirror. “Ryujin is all good now but we can’t risk losing her again, okay?”

The girls nod, Ryujin included. It will be a struggle to not dance as wildly as she usually does, but she knows she will never forgive herself if something bad happens again. She is the center, the team needs her, and she’s not going to let them down.

Ryujin stands in the middle, grinning to herself as she admires her reflection in the glass. That’s where she belongs, in the studio, surrounded by her friends, ready to do what she does best. 

The first beat of _Hala Hala_ drops. Center Shin Ryujin is back in the game.

  
  
  


Ryujin sneakily grabs her phone when a _beep_ tells her there’s a new message. Her friends are all over her today so she needs to excuse herself for a minute to go to the bathroom, smiling from ear to ear when she reads the words displayed on the screen.

**chaeryeong**

how was practice? did your feet hurt?

**ryujin**

not at all!!! i’m so happy

**chaeryeong**

that’s good to hear.

can i see you today?

**ryujin**

what? do you want to have another “dance battle” with me??

**chaeryeong**

no, idiot.

i want to take you out on a date.

Ryujin chokes on air. A date as in a _real_ date? With Lee Chaeryeong? She must be dreaming, right?

Ryujin pinches her arm, cursing under her breath when the pain settles in. Yeah, definitely not dreaming. _What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck—_

**chaeryeong**

if you want to, of course.

Ryujin shoves her phone in her pocket, opens the sink and throws water all over her face, smacking her cheeks as she glares at herself through the mirror. “Stop being a moron, Shin Ryujin. Just say you want to go. It’s not that difficult.”

Ryujin grabs her phone again.

**ryujin**

what if i say no

Of course, she could’ve just said _yes_ , but the natural urge to tease Chaeryeong speaks louder than the rational side of her brain.

**chaeryeong**

that’s your loss, not mine.

**ryujin**

okay miss inflated ego????

where are you taking me btw

**chaeryeong**

i’m assuming that’s a yes.

**ryujin**

ughhh of course it is 

now tell me

**chaeryeong**

:)

**ryujin**

LEE CHAERYEONG

_Read 01:35 PM_

  
  
  


Ryujin is the last one to leave the locker room. She makes sure there’s no one around before she’s out the door, mindlessly walking towards the exit of the building when a hand tugs her wrist, making her jump and yelp before she registers who the person behind her near death experience was.

 _Of fucking course._

“Chaeryeong!”

“Hi,” Chaeryeong smiles innocently, batting her eyes and everything, “Ready to go?”

“I’m ready to kick your ass,” Ryujin huffs, still clutching her chest for dear life. 

“Just the usual, then,” Chaeryeong intertwines their arms and Ryujin can feel her annoyance starting to fade away, 

“ _Ha ha_ , very funny,” Ryujin rolls her eyes, then she stops on her tracks and scowls, “Are you really not telling me where we’re going?”

“No,” Chaeryeong sing-songs, smile only getting wider. Ryujin pretends the view doesn’t make her heart melt because, you know, she has to act like she’s still irritated. “You’ll see when we get there.”

Ryujin scoffs, “And how do I know you’re not going to sell me to some crazy mafia?”

Chaeryeong tsks, shaking her head, “Why would any mafia want you? I bet you can’t fight for shit.”

Ryujin gasps, pretending to be offended by Chaeryeong’s statement. She comically presses her hand against her chest as she says, “You would be surprised with how good of a fighter I am, miss Lee.”

“You cried during a confession scene, Ryujin,” Chaeryeong bumps their shoulders and chuckles at Ryujin’s outraged expression.

“You did too!” Ryujin protests like a spoiled child, a pout appearing on her lips. 

“I never said I was a good fighter.”

“ _Ugh_ , whatever,” Ryujin rolls her eyes, accepting defeat. “Just take me to this secret destination of yours.”

“Sure, _M’lady_.”

Ryujin isn’t sure if she wants to punch or kiss Chaeryeong at this point. Maybe it’s a mix of both, and maybe she can get used to it.

  
  
  


“Chaeryeong, why are we at a fucking abandoned mansion?”

“This isn’t just some abandoned mansion,” Chaeryeong explains as she tugs Ryujin’s hand and urges her to continue climbing the large flight of stairs, “This is _the_ abandoned mansion.”

“Well, I think this is _the_ day of my death,” Ryujin huffs impatiently, “Are you sure this place isn’t haunted?”

“No, Ryujin,” Chaeryeong sighs exasperatedly, “Just shut you pretty mouth and wait.”

“You can shut my pretty mouth, if you want,” Ryujin smirks and receives a flick on her forehead in return. “ _Ouch_.”

Ryujin pouts the whole way up. She can’t help but to yelp every time she comes across a spider web or wood creaks when Chaeryeong pushes a door open, clutching their hands together as if her life depended on it. But once they turn around the corner and she finally catches a glimpse of the place they’ve arrived at, her jaw drops to the floor. 

“Holy shit, Chaeryeong,” Ryujin breathes out as she scans the huge balcony, eagerly taking in the view of the forest and the sparkling river in front of them. It’s so green, so calming, so _heavenly_. “This is—“

“Beautiful,” Chaeryeong’s lips curl up as she admires Ryujin’s astonished look. “I know.”

Ryujin leans on the golden railing and wonders how a _sanctuary-like_ place as this one exists among the chaos of the city. It feels surreal to be standing there, so far from the ground, greeted by such a breathtaking view on a date with Chaeryeong. None of this feels real, but Chaeryeong is right behind her with her arms wrapped tightly around her waist, warm breath tickling her ear at the same time it sends chills down her spine, so it has to be.

“Do you like it?” Chaeryeong asks quietly, but Ryujin can hear the anticipation in her voice.

“I love it,” Ryujin turns around in Chaeryeong’s arms to be able to face her, carefully pulling a strand of hair behind Chaeryeong’s ear. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. Even though I wanted to murder you, like, two seconds ago.”

Chaeryeong giggles, one hand leaving Ryujin’s waist and resting under her jaw, caressing the skin with the tip of her fingers. “It’s okay. Wanting to kill each other is our thing.”

“How romantic,” Ryujin mumbles as she starts leaning in, eyes fluttering closed as soon as her lips meet Chaeryeong’s halfway.

It’s been a while since they kissed, the last one being during the first time Chaeryeong showed up at Ryujin’s dorm and changed their relationship with each other for the better, so it’s understandable that everything is a little sloppy and desperate. Chaeryeong presses Ryujin against the railing (“Don’t you dare push me to the ground.” “Shut the fuck up, Ryujin.”) and deepends the kiss, and for a second Ryujin believes she has reached nirvana.

They only pull away when their lungs are burning for air, goofy smiles painting both of their faces as they contemplate each other’s swollen lips. Chaeryeong leaves a peck on Ryujin’s cheek and crouches down to open her backpack, removing a towel and multiple snacks — including homemade ones — from inside and organizing them neatly on the floor. Then she looks up at Ryujin, squinting her eyes because the sun is too bright, and asks, “Are you going to stand there like a fool or are you going to sit?”

“Sorry,” Ryujin smiles sheepishly as she plops down next to Chaeryeong on the yellow towel, “I’m still recovering. Did you know you’re a great kisser?”

Chaeryeong fights back a smile. “Did you know you’re the cringiest person I know?”

Ryujin places a light kiss on Chaeryeong’s neck and smirks, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

They eat in silence after that, both mesmerized by how the sun casts an ethereal glow over the water. The birds chirp as they soar in the sky and the butterflies travel relentlessly from flower to flower. Ryujin clasps her hands behind her neck before she lies down, wondering when it was the last time she had felt so at ease — or if there was ever one that could come close, to begin with.

Ryujin closes her eyes, smiling to herself when she feels Chaeryeong rest beside her. The girl hums in pleasure, rolling around and prompting her chin over her palm as she says, “You know why I brought you here?”

Ryujin turns around too, lying on her stomach and cracking one eye open to let Chaeryeong know she has her undivided attention. “No, why?”

“We had our first real talk at a balcony,” Chaeryeong drums her fingers on the plaid fabric, a smile slowly creeping its way into her lips, “So I think it’s only fair we have our first real date in one, too.”

Ryujin bites her lips and looks down because she can _feel_ her cheeks starting to burn, “First _real_ date?”

“Mhm,” Chaeryeong pokes Ryujin’s sides, giggling behind her fist when the girl squirms and swarms her hand away, “We went on multiple non-official dates already.”

Ryujin looks up, raising one eyebrow, “All we did was watch Netflix and eat ice cream.”

“And cuddle, and talk, and laugh at your embarrassing pictures,” Chaeryeong completes, a sly smile on her face. Ryujin groans, hiding her face from Chaeryeong’s vision again. “Sounds a lot like a date to me.”

“Ugh, _fine_ ,” Ryujin mumbles, head still buried between her arms. “What about the dance battles? Were they dates too?”

Chaeryeong doesn’t give her an immediate answer. A few seconds of silence pass, and Ryujin can feel a wave of worry starting to creep its way up her spine until Chaeryeong releases a sigh and finally says, “No, not really. I was stressed, you were stressed, and I saw an opportunity to blow off some steam when we almost kissed that time, so I chased after it,” Chaeryeong shakes her head at the memory, giggling under her breath, “Look at me now, taking you on a date and everything. I never knew our stupid dance battles would get us this far.”

Ryujin isn’t sure if she’ll ever get used to the way Chaeryeong never fails to sweep her off her feet in the most unexpected situations. She isn’t sure if she _wants_ to, though, considering how she’s always left breathless, warm, and bursting with fondness at the end.

Ryujin stretches one hand out and intertwines their fingers. Who would’ve thought they’d fit so perfectly together? “I’m so glad they did.”

Chaeryeong beams, thumb stroking Ryujin’s skin in slow motion. “Me too.”

  
  
  


Ryujin can’t stop grinning like a fool the next day.

The team can’t help but to point out the drastic change from her usual mood. Sure, she’s far from being short-tempered and cranky like Gahyeon and Yeoreum, but there’s no way she would be this giddy in the morning without a good reason, so it’s only natural that they’re intrigued. Ryujin tells them it’s because she’s happy to be back, and they seem to buy it — well, at least most of them do.

Yeji side-eyes her the whole day, silently trying to read Ryujin’s mind and figure out what has gotten her best friend so ecstatic out of a sudden. Ryujin knew that Yeji was connecting the dots and that she was _fucked_ , but at the same time she couldn’t bring herself to stop giggling and swaying her legs back and forth every time she got a new text from Chaeryeong. The situation gets impossibly worse when they get to the class they share with Chaeryeong, with Ryujin struggling to focus on what the teacher is saying and constantly malfunctioning when she catches the girl running her fingers through her long hair and licking her lips in concentration.

Ryujin wants to kiss her so bad. She knows she’s staring, and that Yeji is probably looking at her like she’s grown a second head at her atypical behavior, but she can’t help it. The teacher is asking the students something related to the competition and all Ryujin can think about is _Chaeryeong, Chaeryeong, Chaeryeong_ —

“Dude,” Yeji hisses under her breath, using her elbow to shove Ryujin’s arm, “The teacher is calling you.”

“Oh sh—“ Ryujin’s eyes widen, and she immediately brings her hands up to cover her mouth when it hits her that she was about to curse in the middle of the whole class, “I mean, yes, teacher?” 

The teacher laughs at her reaction. Ryujin’s shoulders drop in relief. She’s so lucky she’s _adorable_ and teachers love her. “I just wanted to know if your feet are okay.”

“Uh— Yeah, of course,” Ryujin scratches the back of her neck awkwardly, a pained grin on her face, “Thanks for asking, teacher.”

The teacher gives her a funny look, nods, then continues with the lecture. Ryujin releases the breath she didn’t know she was holding, shrinking into the chair with a grunt. 

Yeji offers her suspicious looks from the corner of her eyes for the rest of the class. It’s comic, really, how Ryujin spends the remaining minutes inside of that room wondering how the fuck is she going to break to her best friend that she has a thing for the girl she spent a whole year hating. And that she kissed her. And that she went on a date with her. Ryujin swears she would be laughing at her sad little situation if she didn’t want to be swallowed up by a black hole so badly.

**ryujin**

chaeryeong,,

**chaeryeong**

texting during class? tsk.

**ryujin**

STOP this is serious

**chaeryeong**

fine. go ahead.

**ryujin**

is it okay if i...

tell yeji???

Ryujin bites down on her nail as she waits for a reply. Her eyes dart from the screen to Chaeryeong’s back in the first row, legs bouncing in anticipation while she watches Chaeryeong having a hard time typing under the table.

**chaeryeong**

of course.

**ryujin**

that’s it? 

**chaeryeong**

yes?

An unsettling feeling takes over Ryujin’s stomach as she ponders what to say next. Is it apprehension? Fear? Maybe something close to guilt? She can’t seem to figure out, but it bothers her to no end.

**ryujin**

i’m sorry

**chaeryeong**

huh? for what?

**ryujin**

u know… at the party

i was so desperate to make sure no one knew what we were doing and

idk

**chaeryeong**

no, no. don’t go there, ryujin.

we barely knew what we were doing and both of us wanted to keep this as a secret from everyone else.

it’s only natural that now that we’re… going on real dates and everything you feel the need to share it with your best friend. it’s okay.

i really want to tell jisu too. i want to share my happiness with her. it’s not a bad thing.

it might be a shock at first but who cares?

best friends tell each other everything, after all.

**ryujin**

…

not @ you giving me One Of Those Talks through text

**chaeryeong**

you had it coming when you texted me saying it was something serious.

**ryujin**

i played myself

but really

thank you, chae

i’ll let you know how it goes?

**chaeryeong**

i’ll be waiting. :)

“Hey, Yeji,” Ryujin starts carefully as soon as she puts her phone on her bag, “What do you say about ice cream after class?"  
  


“So,” Yeji starts as she licks her spoon, wiggling her eyebrows, “Chaeryeong, huh?”

Ryujin chokes on a mouthful of chocolate ice cream. She struggles to regain her breath and to look like a decent human being again, but everything goes to shit when she looks up and sees Yeji doing a poor job at holding back a laugh and wearing a look that screams _I got you on tape, bitch,_ sending her straight into another coughing fit.

But Ryujin isn’t about to let Yeji get what she wants, at least not without trying to play the fool first, so she flashes Yeji her best _angel eyes_ and answers, “Chaeryeong? What about her?”

Yeji huffs, “At first I thought you were staring at her back like a creep because you wanted to kill her,” then a smirk creeps up her lips and Ryujin braces herself for what’s coming next, “But turns out you were giving her _that_ look. You know, the one you used to give Heejin when—”

“We are not going to discuss my old, pitiful crush on Heejin now,” Ryujin narrows her eyes while she points the spoon at Yeji as a threat, but ends up drowning in regret the second some of the ice cream slides off the plastic and falls over her phone. _Great_.

“So I was right?” Yeji beams, leaning over the table, “It was _that_ look?”

Ryujin buries her face in her hand and groans, unable to keep staring at her best friend’s overjoyed expression. This is _not_ how she thought this conversation would go. “Yes, it was.”

“ _Oh my_ —” Yeji stops abruptly after she slams her hands over the table with far more strength than intended, the sound echoing through the shop and attracting the customers’ attention. Yeji smiles sheepishly and apologizes with a quick bow, face burning red from all the nasty looks that were thrown at her. She clears her throat and continues, “You know what they say, there’s a thin line between love and hate.”

“Love,” Ryujin deadpans, pinches the bridge of her nose, “Are you fucking serious, Yeji?”

Yeji ignores her, smile returning to her face as she rests her chin over her fists, “Tell me everything. When did you find out you like her? Are you going to tell her? How are you going to tell her? I can help you with that! Maybe we should—”

“Yeji.” Ryujin cuts her with a glare. The girl visibly deflates. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. But you can’t just tell me you have a crush, on Chaeryeong of all people for fucks sake, and expect me not to get overly excited,” Yeji pouts. Ryujin groans again.

Ryujin massages her temples, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. _It’s time_. “We kissed.”

“Wha—”

“Multiple times, and some of them were at our dorm. Oh, and we went on a date, too.”

Yeji’s mouth opens and closes multiple times, struggling to come up with a coherent sentence after Ryujin dropped the _biggest bomb of the year_ on her lap. Her eyes are about to pop out of her skull, and Ryujin genuinely wonders if her best friend is okay for a second. Sure, that’s a lot of new, unexpected information to process, but Yeji looks like she saw a ghost — or worse, like a demon or something of the kind — in front of her. 

But then she shakes her head, tsks, and blurts out, “You sneaky little bitch.”

Ryujin snorts. There is the good old best friend she knows and loves. “Thanks, babe.”

Yeji rolls her eyes at Ryujin’s antics, shoves a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth, and huffs impatiently, “Are you going to give me the details or am I going to have to find out everything from Chaeryeong?”

“Don’t you dare,” Ryujin scowls, but her face molds into something softer when the memories of the past few weeks start flooding her brain, warmth spreading all over her body at the mere thought of Chaeryeong, her kind words and breathtaking kisses. “ _Anyways_ , it went like this…”

  
  
  


"Is Yeji still alive?"

Ryujin chuckles, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder while she grabs a few eggs from the fridge, "Yes, surprisingly," she closes the door with her foot, "She was _so_ excited, Chaeryeong. It was... weird, to say the least."

It's Chaeryeong's turn to chuckle, "Jisu only got excited after spending twenty minutes whining because I didn't tell her sooner." Chaeryeong groans and Ryujin _knows_ she's rolling her eyes right now. "Oh, and she made me promise she would be the godmother of our children, too. Like, who does that?"

"Yeji does," Ryujin makes her way to the sink, puts her phone on speaker and cracks the eggs, "She told me, you better let me design your wedding or I'll steal your kneecaps."

The laugh Chaeryeong lets out is music for Ryujin's ears. She can't help but to swoon at the sound that spreads over the room, an ear-to-ear smile growing on her face as Chaeryeong pauses to regain her breath. "I guess they're perfect for each other, huh."

"They are," Ryujin nods even though Chaeryeong can't see it. A yelp jumps from her throat when she plunks the eggs on the frying pan, then she remembers she's in the middle of a call with Chaeryeong, curses under her breath, and quickly comes up with a way to hide her embarrassment, "So, uh—" Ryujin scratches her cheek, "What are you doing now?"

"Trying not to laugh at your poor attempt at making food."

Ryujin snorts. So much for trying to cover her lack of cooking skills. "Okay, Gordon Ramsay. Go ahead and laugh as much as you want."

That’s exactly what Chaeryeong does. It’s loud and cheerful and Ryujin wants to be mad at how obnoxious Chaeryeong is, but all that she gets are her own giggles and multiple butterflies tickling the corners of her stomach. 

_She has you in the palm of her hands_ , the butterflies sing as they spread their wings and turn her insides into a sweet mess. Ryujin has to admit that they’re right.

Silence embraces them once Chaeryeong’s laughter dies down. It’s comfortable, calming, and almost blissful — Ryujin finds herself diving into the peacefulness, humming a tune to herself while turning the eggs around. It’s easy being in Chaeryeong’s presence, Ryujin learns, even when they’re not physically together. There’s something incredibly domestic in hearing the sound of Chaeryeong’s breath as she prepares a meal for herself, and in that moment there is nothing Ryujin wants more than to recreate this scene again and again and again—

“I like you.”

The world comes to a halt. Ryujin fixes her gaze on the phone, mouth hanging open as she waits for Chaeryeong to continue.

“I like you so much. Like, a _lot_ ,” Chaeryeong says and Ryujin can hear her tossing and turning on the bed until she finally finds a comfortable position, “Talking about you to Jisu today made me do a lot of thinking. Shit, I thought I was broken and would never be able to have feelings for someone ever again, but here we are. You’re annoying and says stupid things and pouts like a baby and I like it. I like _you_ ,” Chaeryeong giggles, voice drowned in vulnerability and adoration as she speaks again, “Isn’t that amazing?”

Ryujin turns off the stove, throws the eggs on a plate (she manages to leave a half-assed, barely readable sticky note over the sink that says _eat this Yeji ily_ ), puts on a random jacket that was abandoned over a chair and grabs her keys all in the span of a minute, nearly dropping her phone on the floor when she takes the device in her hands and blurts out, “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Ryujin—“

“I’m hanging up,” Ryujin unlocks the door of her dorm and all but flies into the elevator, pressing the first floor button multiple times in a desperate attempt to make it go faster, “Bye.”

“Wait—“

Ryujin presses the red button on the screen and suddenly it’s her, the elevator mirror, and her beating heart threatening to burst out of her chest. 

It’s nearly eleven, Ryujin has an early morning class the next day and Yeji is going to kill her for this, but she can’t bring herself to give a fuck about the fact that she’s going to arrive late for the nth time that year. 

All she knows is that she needs to see Chaeryeong. _Chaeryeong, Chaeryeong, Chaeryeong._

She gets on the bus, pays, and stands impatiently by the exit. She can’t sit, not when her entire body feels like it has been set on fire, not when Chaeryeong’s words keep playing on her head like a _bubblegum pop_ song that it’s impossible to forget.

And she needs to see her now.

  
  
  


“Are you fucking insane?” Is the first thing Chaeryeong says when she opens the door and moves to the side for Ryujin to come in, arms crossed over her chest as she knits her eyebrows together.

“How dare you?”

Chaeryeong blinks. “How dare I what?”

“Tell me all of those things over the phone,” Ryujin takes one step closer, gently grabbing Chaeryeong’s arms and placing them around her waist instead, “When I can’t even do _this_.”

Ryujin pulls Chaeryeong by the neck, closes her eyes, and connects their lips.

Before she knows, she’s being dragged to the couch, pushed over the pillows (“Ow, Chaeryeong, my back!” “I’m sorry, okay?”) and Chaeryeong is straddling her hips, a mix of mischievousness and fondness flashing through Chaeryeong’s eyes before she says, “You’re crazy, you know that?”

The corner of Ryujin’s lips curl up in a teasing smirk, fingers busy traveling from Chaeryeong’s nape to her ears to her jaw, eager to memorize every inch of skin she can reach. She shudders when Chaeryeong tilts her head to kiss the inside of her hand, heart skipping a beat or two at the sight, and answers, voice barely above a whisper, “You love it.”

Chaeryeong beams, cups Ryujin’s cheeks, and proceeds to shower her face with multiple pecks and kisses on the lips that last longer than intended. “I do,” she leans down for a last smooch, one at the tip of Ryujin’s nose that makes her squirm and giggle under Chaeryeong’s embrace, “I guess we’re both crazy, then.”

A smile grows on Ryujin’s lips at the same speed that a garden full of the prettiest flowers bloom inside her stomach and flows through her veins, taking over her senses in something that could only be described as _lovesickness_. Chaeryeong is right there, in front of her, smiling from ear to ear, and she’s everything Ryujin never knew she needed.

So Ryujin pulls Chaeryeong into a bone-crushing hug, dives into the scent of vanilla that is coming from her hair, and whispers, “I like you too, Chaeryeong. A _lot_.”

That’s how Ryujin ends up giggling between kisses, melting into strong arms and basking in the love Chaeryeong is offering her.

  
  
  


“Now that I know you’re whipped for me, I can finally show you my darkest side.”

They’re in Chaeryeong’s bedroom now, and Ryujin is in awe by how neat and organized the place is. There are multiple _Apink_ albums on the shelf over the study desk — some of them are signed by all the members, and that’s when Ryujin realizes that Chaeryeong is way more of a dedicated fan than she thought — as well as a few mini standees of her bias. Chaeryeong’s laptop is open and Ryujin recognizes the girl posing beside her in the wallpaper as her older sister, and on the wall behind it there’s multiple pictures of Chaeryeong with some of her friends and family. A specific picture of Chaeryeong and Jisu with messy hair and wearing the ugliest green eyeshadow ever grabs Ryujin’s attention, and she tries to snap a picture with her phone, but then Chaeryeong scowled and warned that she would murder Ryujin if she tried, so she backed down. Not before spending five minutes laughing and telling Chaeryeong she looked hot while threatening her life. 

Chaeryeong snorts, “Dark side? _You_?”

“Yup,” Ryujin says gleefully while unlocking her phone, “It’s called _my YouTube watch history_.”

Chaeryeong facepalms and groans into her hands. “Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Ryujin wiggles her eyebrows, making herself comfortable besides Chaeryeong on the bed before she finally chooses a video. _Gal Pals Making Christian Eye Contact_. Chaeryeong releases an exasperated sigh once she reads the title. Ryujin thinks it’s the perfect choice. 

Chaeryeong ends up laughing her ass off at the video — so much that they had to pause three times so she could stop choking and simply _breathe_ , so Ryujin wasn’t wrong at all. They end up watching thousands of other stupid videos — Ryujin even shows her the _The Gay Subtext of_ _High School Musical_ one, and almost asks Chaeryeong’s hand in marriage when she reveals that’s one of her favorite movies of all time —, and Ryujin ends up forgetting about the time. And about school. And about that morning class that Yeji is going to beat her up for never taking it seriously. 

It’s two in the morning. And instead of sleeping she’s here, in Chaeryeong’s bed, cackling at silly YouTube videos. Chaeryeong is quick to notice Ryujin’s sudden apprehension, not taking her more than two seconds to connect the dots and discover the reason behind the crease between Ryujin’s eyebrows. 

“You can stay the night, if you want,” Chaeryeong offers quietly, licking her lips. Ryujin’s eyes follow the movement. “I can lend you some clothes, too.”

Ryujin answers by wrapping her arms around Chaeryeong’s waist and rolling them on the bed, the sound of their laughter being the only thing that breaks into the deafening silence of the night. Chaeryeong’s neighbors probably hate them now, but they’re too happy to care about what old people have to say. 

Ryujin sleeps like an angel that night, feeling small and warm and protected in Chaeryeong’s oversized hoodie, snuggled against Chaeryeong’s chest. She skips that stupid morning class, and Yeji makes sure to let Ryujin know she’s _so dead_ through text, but it’s okay. 

Chaeryeong’s sleepy eyes, hoarse voice and the good morning kisses she gives her makes everything worth it. 

  
  
  


They barely see each other after that.

The competition is just around the corner and Ryujin spends most of her time surrounded by her teammates, glancing at her sweaty reflection in the fog mirror as they pour their souls in every single move. Being in their _actual_ studio, not in the one the university provides for the dance students, fills them with confidence and power — there’s something personal about this place, about peeking their heads into their seniors’ rooms and running for their lives when they catch them staring, that keeps them grounded; that reminds them that things will be okay, regardless of the results.

That doesn’t mean that they won’t give everything they got for the first place, though.

“We’re going for that _Triple Crown_ , you know? Cover, choreography and solo— it will be all ours,” Ryujin tells Chaeryeong through the phone, throwing her backpack over her shoulders as she gets off the bus, “Get ready to cry, baby.”

Chaeryeong scoffs and Ryujin bites her lips in a poor attempt to muffle a giggle. “I should be the one telling you that. We’re going to crush this little _butterfly or whatever_ studio of yours.”

“It’s _Golden Butterfly_ , you uncultured swine,” Ryujin corrects, trying to sound stern. Chaeryeong’s high-pitched laugh is enough to let her know she failed.

There’s a beat of silence. Ryujin rests her back against the door of her dorm and fidgets with the keys in her hands, a small smile appearing at her lips as she utters in a serious yet tender way, “You know I’m rooting for you, right?”

“I do,” Chaeryeong’s tone is soft, and Ryujin can tell she’s smiling too. “I wish I could tell you this in person, but I’m rooting for you, too,” comes a pause, then a chuckle follows, “even though you’re a brat.”

“Says who,” Ryujin rolls her eyes and finally opens the door, abandoning her backpack on the floor and flopping down on her bed. She sighs in relief, feeling her muscles relax after a long day at the studio. 

“Tired?” Chaeryeong asks, and it’s almost like she was there, lying in bed with Ryujin.

“Mhm,” Ryujin murmurs against her pillow, “You must be exhausted too.”

Chaeryeong hums, “I am,” then she concludes confidently, “But it will be worth it in the end.”

“Yeah,” Ryujin nods as she yawns, then feels her face burn when she hears Chaeryeong cooing over the sound she made. “I guess it’s time for me to go.”

“Okay,” Chaeryeong giggles, “Take care.”

Another yawn, “You too,” and the call ends. 

Ryujin falls asleep with her phone in her hands and a goofy smile plastered on her face.

  
  
  


The competition day finally arrives.

Ryujin is sitting beside Yeji on the bus the studio rented for the team, cheeks hurting from laughing too hard at the stupid banter going on between Jungeun, Yeoreum and Yuna over a can of cheap soda. She’s thankful, really, for having such great (and endearingly childish) people around her. The last few months— the last few weeks, specifically, would have sucked without them. 

And without _her_ , of course.

Ryujin toys with the shiny pendant hanging from the necklace around her neck, the one she’s been wearing to every competition ever since she was fourteen. She thinks of Chaeryeong, how pretty she would look with that black moon swinging over her skin, and her heart soars. She takes a look at the object, grins, and makes a decision. 

Ryujin is so busy admiring her necklace that it doesn’t hit her that the bus stopped moving, not until she hears Yeji gasping. She follows her best friends’ gaze, taking in the amount of vehicles in the parking lot and the countless number of people entering the building, and lets out a gasp of her own.

 _Holy shit_ , she thinks, eyes nearly popping out of her skull. They’re here.

Yeji interlaces their arms and soon they step out of the bus, following swiftly behind Sooyoung because, in her own words, _I might not be the leader but I’m the oldest here, so follow my commands, kids_. Heejin snorts. Yeoreum slaps the back of her neck and Sooyoung winces in pain. Jungeun cracks up at the scene instead of being a good girlfriend and standing up for Sooyoung. You know, the usual.

Ryujin knows she’s acting like a tourist, but she can’t stop. She points and gapes and takes pictures of everything she sees, dragging Yeji up and down the building until they’re both panting from walking around too much. They manage to find Jisu in the sea of people, and the girl doesn’t hesitate before she starts showering the two of them in love and support, proudly showing the posters she crafted for the competition — _Hwang Yeji and Shin Ryujin rock_ , the purple one says, and the pink one has _Lee Chaeryeong is the best_ written in big white letters. Ryujin loves Jisu, she really fucking does.

“By the way,” Ryujin clears her throat, trying not to seem too eager, “Have you seen Chaeryeong, Jisu?”

Jisu wiggles her eyebrows and smirks. Ryujin’s love for her goes down a percent or two. “Backstage number five,” Jisu points to the huge hallway at the other side of the room and starts pushing Ryujin towards it, “Hurry, go give her some love.”

“Geez,” Ryujin swats Jisu’s hands away and rolls her eyes. “Alright, I’ll go. See you later?”

The couple nods, and Ryujin all but dashes through the crowd, stumbling over a few people on the way and _holy shit_ , those were _the_ Bae Joohyun and _the_ Kang Seulgi, before she finally gets to where she wants — where her heart is.

She knocks three times and pushes the door open, surprised that it’s unlocked. She fights back the urge to squeeze Chaeryeong’s cheeks when she finds the girl sitting cross-legged on the couch while munching on some chips, eyes focused on a random Apink reality show playing on the television. The girl smiles from ear to ear when she notices her presence, and Ryujin swears her lungs stop working for a second. 

“Hey, pretty girl,” Ryujin says, sits beside Chaeryeong on the couch and throws an arm around her shoulders, “I missed you.”

Chaeryeong’s eyes roll back, but the smile plastered on her face betrays her. She climbs onto Ryujin’s lap and pulls her into a proper hug, head resting upon Ryujin’s exposed shoulder as she confesses, “I missed you too.”

Ryujin hums contently, eyelids fluttering closed as her hands run up and down Chaeryeong’s back, “Nervous?”

Ryujin feels Chaeryeong tense up before she releases a deep sigh, “I know I did my best during practice but, you know— last minute jitters and all that. I’m scared I’ll end up screwing everything up somehow.”

Ryujin takes Chaeryeong’s face in her hands like it’s a precious jewel, thumb brushing softly over cheeks while she flashes her an encouraging smile. “You got this, Chaeryeong. And to prove I’m serious,” Ryujin pauses her caresses to reach out and remove her necklace, putting it around Chaeryeong’s neck instead. She was _so_ right — Chaeryeong looks beautiful, ethereal even, wearing that little moon pendant. “I’m giving this to you. It’s my lucky charm— I’ve been using it during competitions for years, but I think it looks better on you.”

It’s only when Ryujin stops admiring how pretty the necklace looks on Chaeryeong that she notices that the girl’s eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Ryujin feels a pang on her chest, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she returns her hands to their original place against Chaeryeong’s cheeks. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Chaeryeong’s lips quiver and a sob slips out of them, “I— Ryujin, I—“ the tears are falling through her cheeks now, wetting Ryujin’s fingers, “It’s beautiful. This is the sweetest thing anyone has done for me,” she looks up, wipes a few of her tears and shoots Ryujin a smile, “Thank you.”

Ryujin presses a peck on Chaeryeong’s forehead, one on the tip of her nose, one on her cheek and finally connects their lips in a tender, slow kiss that she hopes is enough to make Chaeryeong feel all the adoration that burns inside of her chest and spreads to every inch of her body every time they’re like this, together, lost in their own world filled with nothing but happiness and love. Chaeryeong is dazed and her cheeks are crimson when Ryujin pulls away, so she considers the mission a success.

“You’re welcome,” Ryujin says, still a little breathless, “No matter what happens I’m here for you, okay?”

Ryujin’s lips curl up when understanding flashes through Chaeryeong’s eyes. Chaeryeong said she would be there for her in one of her darkest moments, and now Ryujin gets to say it back. It fills her with pride, fondness, and love — so much that it’s hard for Ryujin to believe the amount of positive feelings for a person she can carry within her heart. 

“Promise?” Chaeryeong asks with those adorable puppy eyes Ryujin grew to cherish, raising her pinky in the air. 

Ryujin laughs, wrapping her finger around Chaeryeong’s as if they were little kids. “I promise.”

Chaeryeong dazzles, and she doesn’t think twice before grabbing Ryujin by the collar and kissing her again. Ryujin grins against Chaeryeong’s lips, giggling and squirming when cold hands slip under her shirt and tickle her skin. 

_This is what the love songs on the radio are talking about_ , Ryujin concludes, and chases after Chaeryeong’s lips again.

  
  
  


It’s six o’clock and Ryujin is all dressed up, wearing black from head to toe, minutes away from stepping into the stage she’s been dreaming of for months. 

The team is in a circle, holding each other’s hands — one of the staffs said they look like a cult from afar, with their fedoras, chains and intimidating auras — and taking deep breaths. Ryujin can feel Yuna’s hand trembling against her own, so she flashes her an assuring smile and leaves a peck on her forehead. Yuna looks up, smiles, and Ryujin is nothing but proud of their little kid.

“Alright, everyone,” Yeji begins, eyes burning with determination, “We practiced hard and we _can_ do this.”

“ _We can do this!_ ” The team chants. Ryujin feels her skin prickle with excitement.

“Golden Butterfly, it’s your turn!” 

They exchange one last look, a look that _screams_ power, and climb on the stage with hurricanes erupting from their eyes.

The first beat drops. It’s time to break the stage.

  
  
  


Their performance is _insane_.

The cheers that take over the place once the song ends is almost deafening, but Ryujin swears it’s one of the best sounds she has ever heard in her life. 

Some of the girls cry — Gahyeon and Yeji spend six solid minutes hugging while sobbing into each other’s arms — and Ryujin sheds a tear or two, but is quick to wipe them off when Sooyoung shows up behind her and they do their infamous _frat bros_ handshake. 

Ryujin wants to go backstage with them and continue their pos-performance celebration but a voice announces through the speakers that solos are next and she all but disappears, telling them she’s going to get Joohyun’s and Seulgi’s autographs as an excuse. 

She squeezes her way into the massive crowd and gets to the front row, breath catching up on her throat when the same voice reveals the first competitor’s name and Chaeryeong appears on the stage in all her glory. 

Chaeryeong looks like an angel, with the light casting an ethereal glow on her face and her white outfit, a sharp contrast to Ryujin’s dark one, and she can’t— _doesn’t want to_ take her eyes off her, ever. Chaeryeong spins, jumps and owns the stage like it’s a kingdom and she’s the ruler. She receives the love of the crowd, the love bursting from Ryujin’s eyes, and finishes the performance flawlessly. 

Their eyes meet after Chaeryeong bows. Ryujin throws her hand in the air and gives Chaeryeong a thumbs up, smiling so widely that her cheeks hurt. Chaeryeong laughs, winks, and then she’s out of the stage, leaving a breathless Ryujin behind. 

Ryujin bites her lips to contain a giggle, gives the stage one last glance over her shoulders, and rushes back to her team. 

  
  
  


It’s time for the results.

Ryujin’s hands are sweating and she can’t bring herself to stop shaking — it’s finally hitting her that this is it, the moment that can turn them into legends or break their hearts into a million pieces. It’s nerve wracking, stressing and she feels like she’s going to faint.

A man in black suit stops in the middle of the stage with three envelopes in his hands, wearing a smug smile on his face as he drums his fingers over the paper. Ryujin wants to steal the results from his hands and read it out loud for everyone to hear already. And she swears she would, if only Yeji didn’t keep a vicious grip around her wrist ever since they came back to the main area. 

The man starts with the choreography teams. Ryujin glances to where Eunbi and Sojung are standing with the rest of their friends, holding each other’s hands so tightly that Ryujin wonders how they haven’t broken a bone yet. 

“And the first place goes to… _Golden Butterfly_! Congratulations!”

Ryujin’s legs nearly give in, and _fuck_ , this isn’t even their category yet, but she’s so damn happy for her friends. She whistles and claps when they move to grab the trophy, laughing wholeheartedly when Sojung starts crying like a baby on stage.

But the laughter dies on her tongue when the man clears his throat and goes on, “Now we have the cover teams.”

 _Shit._ It’s their turn.

Everyone is holding their breaths, watching attentively as he rips the envelope open and breaks into a polite smile. _Oh God_. 

“And we have _Golden Butterfly_ again! Congratulations!”

The world stops for a moment. Everything seems to be happening in slow motion.

Ryujin blinks a few times, wondering if this is actually happening, if it was really the name of their studio that slipped from his mouth. But then she turns around, sees their seniors cheering for them and rushing them to the stage, and the penny finally drops.

They won. They fucking did it.

Ryujin sees her name carved on the trophy and gasps, fingers tracing over the object as Yeji delivers a winning speech that Ryujin fails to process. Somewhere in the crowd is Chaeryeong, applauding and looking like she’s two seconds away from bursting into tears. Jisu, who’s standing beside her, looks the exact same while waving her posters wildly in the air.

They get off the stage and before Ryujin can blink she’s being dragged into a group hug, one that is messy and sweaty but that feels like home. And they could stay like that for hours, they really could, but the host announces the last category and Ryujin feels a wave of nervousness crash over her body again. 

“And the winner is…”

_Lee Chaeryeong, Lee Chaeryeong, Lee Chaeryeong._

“Lee Chaeryeong! Congratulations!”

_Lee Chaeryeong. Lee Chaer— wait, did he say Lee Chaeryeong? Oh my—_

Chaeryeong climbs on stage, doing a poor job at trying to contain her tears, and Ryujin’s heart soars when she takes the trophy in her hands. Ryujin jumps, claps, yells and forgets that the rest of the team don’t know about them yet. She sees them go from shock to understanding to interrogating Yeji because she’s the only one that isn’t having a meltdown over what’s happening, and chooses to do nothing but to laugh at their reactions. 

Ryujin rushes to the stairs, waits for Chaeryeong to go down and spins the girl around once she throws herself into her arms. Chaeryeong yelps before she explodes into a fit of laughter, wrapping her arms tightly around Ryujin’s neck to keep her balance.

Ryujin puts her down but keeps them close, resting her forehead against Chaeryeong’s glistening one. She smiles, then breathes out, “We did it.”

Chaeryeong’s entire face lights up as she nods, eyes diverting to Ryujin’s mouth as she starts to lean in, “Yeah,” Chaeryeong licks her own lips, rests her hands under Ryujin’s jaw, “we did it.”

And they kiss right there, in front of everyone, and any trace of secrecy left in their relationship is thrown out of the window. They’ll explain everything to their friends, eventually — and it’ll be a blast to talk about the secret adventure they got lost into. 

But for now, they’ll keep on kissing. 

Because they got their trophies and, in the middle of all that gold, each other’s hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> me: i stan 100 different girlgroups and i'm about to let everyone know through this fic
> 
> anyways, i hope this was a good read! i'm sorry for any mistakes and if you liked it please let me know! thank you so much for reading! ♡
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/shinyeons)   
>  [my writing](https://stateofwriting.carrd.co/#main)


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